Survival of the Fittest
by Nemolover
Summary: /Rango\ As their problems return, the town of Dirt welcomes a new mayor who threatens to steal Rango's thunder. Violence and mild language.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Rango or any of its characters. However, Sekai is mine. I will tell you of any other OCs as I think of them. There are characters that are unnamed in the movie that I have given names so that they may be used in my story. So far the only ones are "Legs" which is the spider undertaker and "Samuel" who is the raccoon kid. Enjoy.**

**Update 6/22/2014: Apparently the spider and the raccoon kid are named 'Mr. Black' and 'Boo Cletus' respectively but I'm not changing the older part of the story no matter how awfully I believe it's been written. ****I am keeping 'Legs' and 'Samuel', they will just be a different spider and raccoon kid.**  


**When I first wrote this everyone kept saying Sekai is a Mary Sue. I don't think she is one but if she seems like one then good. She's supposed to because of what happens to her later in the story. I'm tempted to just say what happens because I don't know if I'll be finishing this story but when I feel like giving up on a story, a nice review here and there makes me feel like I can go a little bit further. Thank you 'Gwen' for your review which brought me back to this dusty old relic of a fanfiction. Chapters 7 and 8 are all thanks to you.**

* * *

Rango tapped the colossal jug firmly a few times. After the air gurgled its way to the top the water line rested at 8 days.

The alarmed townsfolk gasped softly.

"We had plenty. It's only been a month," said the Sheriff uneasily as he stared at the container in disbelief.

"It couldn't 've last forever, Sheriff," Beans consoled, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Even if you flood the whole place, it'll just go back to bein' a desert. It's the way it is."

"I know, it's just that … I thought I licked this problem."

"You saved my daddy's ranch and gave Dirt hope."

Rango nodded in agreement as he regained his composure with a sigh. He cleared his throat before getting into character and turning to address the rising panic of the crowd.

"Aright, everyone, simmer down! Eight days is plenty o' time and your Sheriff is gonna fix this! Now, we're all gonna hafta tighten up! Save what little water you have in your keepin'!"

Assorted groans and grumbles of discontent rose from the audience.

"Take heart, folks!" Rango continued," Can't get much worse. The only place to go from here is up!"

"Actually, Sheriff, tomorrow's Thursday," Priscilla solemnly interposed. "Rattlesnake Jake'll be comin' for another soul to steal."

"T-that's right!" Spoons added, "And we ain't got no more mariachi owls to give 'im!"

The murmurs of dread exploded into an uproar.

"Folks, calm down! Just you focus on the water. The Lord'll provide a means to dealin' with Jake … and if He doesn't …I'll just have to take care of my 'brother' myself."

"Hey, uh, S-Sheriff?" Buford croaked anxiously from just outside the bank door, "T-t-there's a lady here lookin' for ya."

"Really?" Rango inquired excitedly, "Them personal ads go through real quick, eh, Beans?"

The desert iguana rolled her eyes as he winked at her and followed him out to see what was going on. The pair gasped when they looked upon Buford, frozen in fear, as he stared down the barrels of two gold-plated revolvers. The bushy-tailed creature wielding the shimmering weapons turned her green eyes to Rango. In a flash, she was before him and _his_ eyes now ogled the guns' brilliance.

"So you're the Sheriff then?" She growled.

"Y-yes I am," he stammered, voice cracking in apprehension. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I'm kinda thirsty."

Rango gulped as the golden guns clicked simultaneously when she drew their hammers back.

The townspeople watched powerlessly as the newcomer helped herself to their precious water. When she'd had her fill the water line sat at a sobering one week.

"What're you gonna do, Rango?" Beans whispered, "You said things couldn't get worse. This – this … fox thing drinkin' up all our water is worse. You better do somethin'."

"Fret not, Beans. I've got about an inch on her. I can take this little girl."

As if she'd heard their hushed conversation the newcomer set her borrowed cup down and gave the Sheriff a glare, turning to face him in anticipation. Unable to do nothing with the expectations of the town on his back, Rango sauntered up to her until their noses nearly touched. Her eyes narrowed and a growl began deep in her throat as he entered her personal space. His eyes were just above her black and auburn hair. He looked down at her with the little height advantage he had, "Listen here, shorty! We don't - ahh!"

He yelled and stumbled backwards as the biggest pair of ears he'd ever seen shot above him and stood fully erect. The town exclaimed in wonder at the spectacle.

"Who are you? What are you?" Beans inquired, staring as she came to Rango's side.

The stranger chuckled and returned to her chalice. After emptying it one last time she replied, "Name's Sekai. I'm a fennec."

"You quenched your thirst so why don't you just be moseyin' along now," the Sheriff dusted himself off, downplaying his fall.

"I've been fryin' in this desert for a year. You're crazy if you think I'm leaving a source of water," she replied. "A little froggy told me this town doesn't have a mayor."

The crowd turned and looked at Buford.

"What? She was gonna shoot me!" The toad explained.

"If it was this easy for me to stroll in here and get what I want then you guys are gonna need someone tough to protect your water and your town," the little fox continued. "I nominate myself for the position."

"Thanks, but no thanks. I can protect-," Rango began, sentence cut short by the bright revolver barrel swiftly inserted into his mouth.

"Any other objections?" Sekai asked.

"If anyone should be mayor it's Rango because he's the sheriff and he's been here longer," Priscilla said.

"Ah, yes, he _is_ the sheriff," Sekai withdrew her firearm from his mouth and threw an arm around Rango's neck, pulling him down a bit.

"Just so you know … if you shoot all the townsfolk, t-there'll be no point to you bein' mayor," he panicked.

"I'm not gonna harm the townsfolk … just you. Your hand please, Sheriff?"

"N-no, you'll hurt it."

"It's your hand … or your head."

Rango once again found a radiant revolver in his face.

"Be gentle," he whimpered as he reluctantly gave her one of his hands.

"Oh, absolutely!"

Quickly, she holstered her gun and secured his arm behind his back in a wristlock. Rango yelped.

"Little girl, tell me _all_ the reasons why you think I couldn't be mayor … but this coward should."

"Well," the cactus mouse began, cognizant of Rango's predicament. "One, we don't know you. Two, we're facing a drought and you're drinking up all our water. Three, Rango's no coward. He's our hero and he should be mayor. Four, …"

The trapped chameleon screamed as Sekai twisted his wrist with each count from Priscilla.

"She really must not like you," the fox chuckled to him as Priscilla went into the double digits.

"… and seventeen; there aren't fennecs in this desert. That means you're a stranger and strangers don't last long around here."

"Mercy," Rango cried in submission, having been forced to the ground.

"Well, little one, that gives me a lot to think about. Anyone else wanna speak for the sheriff's sake?"

Waffles raised a hand.

"NO! Nobody else wants to say anything!" Rango hollered, free arm waving in anguish.

"Well, I was just gonna say that … I think you _should_ be mayor," the horned toad grinned, his eyes locked in awe on the foreigner.

"What? Why?" Elgin questioned.

"Uh, uh, well," Waffles stammered upon realizing the puzzled looks everyone was giving him. "S-she's got some really nice guns and a commandin' outfit. T-that's more'n Rango had when he came to town."

The crowd murmured in agreement so Sekai awarded him a brief grin.

"Ya got any of them credentials?" Yelled Spoons over the debating throng.

"I'll do you one better!" she replied, "Who's the toughest gunslinger to ever amble through this town? I'll go round 'im up and make an example out of 'em."

The town unanimously pointed to Rango.

"Really? Well … mission accomplished then," she chuckled. "If that joker's the best you've got then ya'll can't afford to not have me as your mayor."

"There's still Rattlesnake Jake," Beans sneered.

"Who's that?"

"He's the outlaw who kills all our sheriffs … and our last mayor. You'll be next if you hang 'round here actin' like you can do somethin' 'bout 'im."

Sekai approached the doubting rancher with a glare, "Point the way and I'll show you what I can do."

"Now now ladies," Rango came between them, having recovered from his ordeal. "There'll be plenty o' time for our new mayor to meet Rattlesnake Jake."

"New mayor?" Beans scoffed skeptically.

"Relax, Beans. This is a blessing in disguise," he whispered softly with a grin. "We needed someone to give to Jake and here she is. The Lord works fast."

He ushered Sekai out of the bank and into the street, "Now let's get you settled into office."


	2. Chapter 2

Rango showed Sekai the various establishments of Dirt. The town followed taking the opportunity to study their new official.

"Last but not least, the mayor's office of Dirt; your place," the Sheriff smiled following her inside.

Sekai inspected the first floor. A copious quantity of golf memorabilia littered the walls. The old wooden stairs creaked beneath their weight as she and Rango ascended them. The reception desk rested on the left of the hall at the stairway's head. Behind it sat an attractive red fox.

"Bonjour, Sher-," her mildly accented greeting cut short by the sight of Sekai. "Who iz thiz?"

"Sekai, Angelique. Angelique, Sekai. This is our new mayor," replied Rango, introducing her with a dramatic hand gesture. "And, Mayor, this is your new assistant."

The French fox examined the newcomer, most notably her eye-catching pistols which glistened in the light of the nearest window. Sekai looked her over thoughtfully as well. They glared at one another in an escalating mental catfight, Angelique desperately trying to hide her contempt for the stranger lest she be shot.

"You're fired," Sekai said at last.

"What?" Angelique shrieked, "You cannot do thiz me! Who do you think you are?"

"I'm your boss and I said you're fired. Now get out!"

The scorned fox left the building in a huff which did nothing but make the new mayor laugh in derision.

"Well that was just mean," said the Sheriff. "Are there any women you _can_ get along with?"

"Yeah, the ones who don't challenge me, besides she was a total hussy, "she reasoned as she continued her exploration of the office. "Can't have someone like that around when I'm workin'. It screws up my cogitation."

"Who's gonna help you run this office now?"

"Don't need help runnin' it," Sekai retorted, placing her boots on the mayoral desk as she reclined in the chair.

The sheriff smirked at her before exiting the office and making his way down the steps.

"Then, you better get a jump on that paperwork because it tends to pile up!" He called back to her as he left the building.

"Uh, … p-paperwork?"

Sekai took off her jacket and swung it over a shoulder as she came out onto the office's wooden porch. Her layered hair and luxurious tail danced gently with the hot breeze. Her voluptuous curves, now unmasked, drew quite a few stares from the curious mob. As she moved the sunbeams caught by the glorious Smith & Wessons danced over the shimmering surfaces of the firearms.

"Listen up!" Commanded Sekai, addressing the inquisitive crowd waiting outside. "I need a new assistant! Someone strong, intelligent, brave, and above all … loyal! Any volunteers?"

The townswomen, more cautious and reserved, mostly withheld their support but nearly every male hand went up. An always eager Waffles leaped and waved both arms desperately in an attempt to be seen from behind the taller Wounded Bird who stood silent and motionless.

"Put yer hand down!" Beans scolded as she smacked Rango's hand from the air.

"Ow! What? The sun was in my eyes!" He chuckled nervously.

"Decisions, decisions … how's about you, little girl? What's your name?" Sekai asked as she approached the young cactus mouse standing in front.

"Priscilla."

"I like you, Priscilla. The way you stood up for your beliefs even though Rango was in jeopardy was so forceful. You're very dark but candid, a perfect mayoral combination in my opinion. How's about bein' my assistant so we can make somethin' of this town? With you helpin' me out I just know we can solve your water problem. Also, I'm pretty clever with my hands. You can tell me of anythin' that needs fixin' and I'll take care of it."

"Well, ok, but only if I get those guns when you die."

"My guns? They are pretty nice aren't they? Mmm … well … it's not exactly a fair trade but alright. You drive a hard bargain. However, you might be waitin' a while…," Sekai smirked, ignoring the disappointed groans of the townsmen. "So what's first on my agenda?"

"If you really think you've got what it takes; the bank could use more security to protect it from thieves. Someone broke in and took all our water last month and killed our banker, Mr. Merrimack, in the process. Speaking of thieves, the jail is all worn down. It couldn't hold a piece of paper."

"I'm on it," she acknowledged, tipping her hat to the little girl before strolling off. Hesitant, Priscilla watched her go before finally deciding to follow.

"Alright people! Nothin' to see here! Back to work! Let's let the 'mayor' do her job!" Rango directed.

The crowd dispersed and resumed their individual schedules. A suspicious Beans started after the fennec.

"What a dump," the mayor observed when she looked through the jailhouse entrance and saw the gaping hole in the wooden floor of the confinement's large single cell. Straight above, the sunlight poured in from an equally as large opening, "What happened here?"

"That's from when Rango flooded the town, giving us water and saving us from Rattlesnake Jake," Priscilla replied having caught up to the fox.

"You don't say. I don't suppose the mighty Rango has any construction supplies stashed away with all his awesomeness, has he?"

Suddenly, squeals of diabolic laughter floated in from outside. Sekai and Priscilla rushed out to the street where the other town children were gathered around a small fire at the corner of the Sheriff's building.

"Hey now!" Sekai reprimanded, confiscating from the delinquents a small glass bottle partially stuffed with a rag as she stamped out the fire. "Don't you brats have anythin' better to do?"

"No," sassed Samuel.

"Ain't nothin' fun to do 'round here," added Malachi.

"That's too bad. Why don't ya'll come help me and Priscilla?" The mayor offered, "I'll show you how to make a fort. We just need some materials to work with."

"There's lotsa wood from old, smashed buildin's around," said another rodent kid, pointing to a nearby heap of debris.

"Just what do you think you're doin'?" Beans asked Sekai when she found her and the children stacking boards outside the jailhouse.

"I said I'd fix this jail so that's what I'm gonna do," she replied with a mouthful of nails, not bothering to look in Beans' direction as a youngster handed her another plank.

"What for?"

"As an expression of good will. Don't want you all thinkin' badly of me."

"Good will? You stole water from us … in the middle of a drought," argued Beans.

"That I did. Probably would've died without it too but I _did_ steal it and all I have to pay for it is service to your community. So, why don't you run along and let me get back to it?"

An arrogant smile replaced Beans' glare of abhorrence, "In that case, you do a good job and I've got plenty more work for you to do on my ranch if you're tryin' to prove your worth."

Sekai turned to reply to Beans' ridicule but the lizard had already left.

"What did I do to deserve such treatment?" the mayor jokingly asked the children.

Content to be needed they grinned, shrugged, and resumed working. All except Priscilla who met Sekai's smile with an unemotional glance before frankly replying, "Nobody trusts you is all. Everyone's waitin' to see if you're a bad guy or a good guy."

High noon came. The air and earth were blazing as Sheriff Rango was making his rounds. The dirt streets somehow seemed cleaner and as vacant as the shops and homes he passed.

"Wasn't there a pile of rubble there? And there? And there?" He questioned himself, thinking back to structures destroyed in his encounter with the hawk. "And where is everybody?"

At last, he found the townspeople gathered together in front of the jail.

"Alright! What's goin' on? Elgin drunk and startin' fights again?" He inquired, forcing his way through the crowd.

"Nothin' doin', Sheriff. Take a gander at the new jail house the mayor done built," the bar cat replied.

"Aww, I just renovated it a little bit," Sekai beamed, leaning proudly against her finished project.

"Eh … it doesn't look so tough to break out of. Why one good punch oughta bring it right d—OW!" Rango clenched his now throbbing fist to his chest, eyes watering, "Is this brick?"

"Indeed," Ambrose answered. "Mayor Sekai made them herself."

"From what?" He whimpered. As feeling returned to his hand he leaned against the new building.

"You don't want to know," the fennec replied.

"Yipe!" Rango squealed, scrambling away from the wall and wiping his hands on his pants. "Is it … excrement?"

"What? No! I meant you don't want to know because it's a long complicated process and you probably wouldn't be intelligent enough to understand. Sicko!" She scolded.

"Yeah, Rango. That's gross," Buford added.

"All this in a few hours … it doesn't quite seem possible," doubtfully wondered Rango.

"It's not like I built it from scratch," Sekai responded. "I just added brick to strengthen the outside and repaired some of the doors and floorboards inside. The blacksmith kindly let me use his kiln and with all the kids helpin' out, it was fun."

"You can't have the children doin' construction. We have child labor laws ya know!"

"Well, it was better'n lettin' them run amok and burn down your office like they were fixin' to do. What I wanna know is where they learned to make a Molotov cocktail from. Is that what you're teachin' them in school, Sheriff?"

"I assure you I have no idea where they would've picked up somethin' like that!" Explained the sheriff.

"Right. Come on everyone. I've still gotta show you all the new bank security," Sekai led the group to the Bank of Dirt where she presented to them the improvements she had made. "… guaranteed to prevent robberies. All we need now is a new banker to help Parsons keep an eye on things." She scanned the crowd and noticed Angelique's scowling in the back, "You, harlot, can you count to ten?"

"Excuse me?" Angelique shouted, infuriated.

"You're hired! Now come on and get started!"

"I will do no such thing!"

"Oh yeah?" Sekai reached for her guns.

"Now, mayor, maybe if you just be nice to Angelique. You did just fire and insult her and all," Rango suggested.

"Fine, Angelique. Could you _please_ be the town's banker? What with you bein' so clean and educated. I was only jokin' about you bein' a harlot and I'm sure you can count higher than anyone," said the mayor as sweetly as she could through gritted teeth. "We need you mighty bad."

After much thought, Angelique entered the bank and responded in her light French accent, "I do it for Dirt, not for you."

"Whatever. You do it to keep me from wearin' your hide like a belt, you… ,"Sekai grumbled under her breath.

Waffles and Priscilla chuckled at the mayor's mumbling.

"Oh, don't forget to hang this back up," said the cactus mouse, handing Sekai a framed picture of the former banker.

Sekai examined it, "Is this the previous banker who was killed?"

Beans stepped forward to reflect on the photo and remember the ground squirrel who was like an uncle to her, "Yeah, that's Mr. Merrimack."

"Wow … he had a big ol' booty…"

"MAYOR!" Snapped Beans.

"What?! I like it!" Sekai took the frame from the rancher and nailed it the wall. "There, this bank is complete."

As the fennec left the bank Priscilla was right beside her, "Thanks for fixin' the jailhouse and bank … and just in a few hours too. That's pretty amazing."

"Yeah, well, with you kids helpin' it was easy and we had fun," she said, wiping the sweat from her brow. "You should see some of the plans I thought of while I was workin'. I've got this idea for a much needed bath house that'll-"

"It's the hottest time of the day. I think you should take a break."

"Let's all take a break and celebrate our newly refurbished jailhouse and bank!" said the Sheriff, stepping in to soak up the attention as if he had earned it.

The townsfolk cheered. Later, the saloon was alive with merriment. Legs played ragtime on the piano as Buford served drinks. When Sekai entered each citizen thanked her as she made her way to the bar.

"Good work for someone's who's only been mayor half a day," Buford croaked as he made her a drink. "It's on the house."

"Thanks," she replied as she grabbed it and took a seat.

"So, mayor, where're you from?" inquired Spoons taking a barstool beside her.

"Well, fennecs in general are from this place known as the Dark Continent. It has deserts so big, so dry, so hot, they make this one look like little sandbox. It's clear on the other side of the world!"

As she spoke, inquisitive onlookers gathered around and gasped in wonder.

"But as for me," she continued, her growing audience hanging on her every word. "I'm from Connecticut."

She took a sip of her drink, immune to its bite after a year of surviving on little else.

"Wow. Kin-net-tuh-cut. That sounds tough," he commented.

"They got a big desert there, do they?" Sergeant Turley asked, claiming the barstool on her other side and leaning close.

"Whoa, watch the arrow there, soldier," Sekai said, dodging the old projectile's fletching. "No, to answer your question, it's durn near right on the ocean."

"What's an ocean?" prodded Waffles, intently mesmerized by the anecdote.

"It's only the biggest, deepest puddle o' water on the whole globe!" she gestured, "But you can't drink a lick of it!"

"Why not?" a random patron from somewhere in the mass inquired.

"Because you'll die," Sekai answered dramatically.

"It's p-poison water then?" said Waffles.

"What with the pollution and all, I guess you could say that," she finished her drink and arose from the bar stool.

"How'd you get out here?" Buford refilled her cup in an attempt to get her to continue.

"Now that's a tale for another time, folks!" the mayor smirked as she left the bar with her fresh drink.

"Hey! There you are, Mayor," Rango grinned deviously. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Go ahead."

"Not here. It's a very hush-hush topic. Quick, in here," he swiftly escorted her into the solitude of the saloon supply closet. "So, just between you and me how long do you think you can keep up this facade?"

"Excuse me?" she inquired, quite confused.

"The whole western thing. Relax, I'm a bit of a performer myself. I noticed, like me, you sometimes drop the accent. The way you really talk is much more eloquent and your vocabulary's more expansive than a real frontiersman. Be careful with the stories too. Trust me; you don't want to let your ego write checks your tush can't cash. So, what happened? Were you a pet?" he asked, taking the time to admire from this proximity her cleavage which the low neck of her shirt so generously revealed.

"You callin' me a liar?" she snarled, shoving him as far away from her as the confined space would permit.

"Oh drop the act," he whispered, reflecting her rising irritation as her jostle nearly forced him into a case of sharp cactus juice bottles. "You think you can play my game? I spent a long time developing a character that this town would admire. You think you're a better actor than me? Well, I'm not gonna let you trick these people. Confess; you're not western and you're not a real gunslinger. You flashed those pistols all day without firing a single shot. Those probably aren't even real … and I bet your guns are fake too!"

Too angry for words, Sekai threw her drink in his face.

"Ahh! Ok, I deserved that," Rango admitted, the liquid stinging his eyes.

Then she slapped him.

"I probably deserved that too."

"No, you deserve this," she retorted, swiftly kicking him in the groin.

Rango squealed and doubled over in agony. Buford opened the door to see what the racket was about, "What are you guys doin' in my supply closet?"

"This is between me and the mayor. It's official political business for the welfare of Dirt," squeaked Rango.

"Ohhh, riiiiight. Wouldn't 'business' of that caliber best be conducted somewhere more … private?"

"Shut up!" Sekai barked, pushing the bartender out of her way. "I don't have to prove a damn thing to you, Rango! I haven't got a thing to hide!"

The music and drinking all stopped as everyone watched the fennec storm out of the saloon.

"She's pissed," observed Sergeant Turley.

"Someone should go see what's wrong," added Wounded Bird.

The men all looked at one another before grumbling various excuses.

Leaping down from his barstool, Waffles said, "I'll go."

"You're a brave man," replied Furgus.

"Don't get shot!" Elgin called after him as the horned lizard exited the saloon doors.

Outside Sekai stood in the street, arms crossed, as she stared down a dark cloud of sand approaching ominously from the horizon. Though usually laid back, her ears now pointed to the sky as they scanned for peril.

"What's wrong, mayor?" Waffles asked uneasily, mindful of his friends' warnings about the fickle nature of an irate woman. The bar's more curious patrons crowded and watched from the doorway.

"Go back inside, kid," she said.

"Huh? What's-"

"Now! Go! Everybody take cover!"

The citizens of Dirt scrambled for shelter until the fennec was alone in the empty street. The wave of sand and wind swept through the town, blinding all. Sekai had to turn away as the sand washed over her and violated her nose and ears. After a few seconds the dust settled and when she turned back, on the road before her stood Bad Bill.


	3. Chapter 3

"That was a pretty nice entrance," she coughed, shaking the sand from her hair.

"Who the hell are you?" Bill inquired in his gruff yet distinctly cockney accent, appearing quite surprised that someone was waiting for him. "Don't believe I've seen you here before, little lady."

"I'm the new mayor of this town."

"How is it that you were expectin' me?"

"With these ears, I heard you comin' the moment the thought entered your head. You must be Bill … from the wanted posters, right?"

"I see my reputation presees- pre- prese- grrr. My reputation's pretty big."

"Unlike your vocabulary," Sekai quipped, taking note of the suspicious, dark, leather bag the desperado's left hand held.

"That's a good one," Rango snorted from under a table in the saloon.

"Why're all us men in here hidin' while a woman is out there protectin' us?" Spoons asked.

"She told us too, besides she's the mayor. Protectin' the town's her responsibility," Rango replied.

"It's your responsibility. You're the sheriff," Wounded Bird disagreed.

"Yeah, but-"

"Git yer ass out there, man!" Spoons hollered.

Rango yelled as he was thrown from the saloon and into the street, "You traitors!"

"Sheriff Rango!" called Bad Bill. "I believe I still owe you a bullet to the chest."

"A-actually, you can keep it," Rango sniveled.

"Don't worry about the village idiot. I'm your opponent, Bill," Sekai growled. "What's in the bag?"

"It ain't makeup. I can tell you that. Those are some mighty nice guns you've got there. You know how to use 'em?" he asked, noticing the gold on her hips.

"You're about to find out."

The stare down seemed to last forever as the two gunslingers sized each other up. The tension was palpable. Sekai had a very crude plan which required Bill to shoot first. So she feigned some mild inattention in hopes he'd take it as an opportunity to get the upper hand, but Bill didn't fall for it.

"What's the matter?" he mocked. "Those dinner plates on your head gettin' in the way, love?"

"Heh, that's a good one, Bill. However, big ears or no, you just don't have the cojones to take me down!"

At last, an infuriated Bill reached for his weapon. It was instantaneous. The moment he grabbed his gun handle Sekai was in motion; a successful tech roll out of harm's way before drawing a gun, returning fire, and knocking his pistol from his hand.

"You're mine," she said charging for Bill as he scrambled after his gun.

Each time Bill reached for his firearm, a shot from Sekai's sent it scurrying away. She closed in on him and pounced managing to grab his waist. She fell to the ground taking Bill's trousers with her and with his pants now around his ankles he face-planted in the dirt. Looking up to ensure that she still had ahold of him Sekai couldn't help but laugh at the outlaw's choice of boxer design.

"Really, Bill? Hannah Montana?" she chuckled.

"Enough!" the enraged Gila monster bellowed, using his bag to knock her backwards.

Bill secured his pants then, turning the tables, he leaped upon her throwing a heavy hand around her neck and pinning her to the earth. Automatically she wrapped her claws around his in an effort to pry them from her throat. She struggled in vain unable to match his strength. With his free hand he seized her other revolver from her hip.

"She needs help!" shouted Waffles, starting to rise from his refuge.

"Don't worry, I got this. Let her go, Bill!" Rango yelled, drawing his gun which slipped from his hand when its front sight caught his belt. Upon hitting the ground it discharged striking the feeble chain struggling to hold the vandalized sheriff sign by itself. The heavy sign fell onto the end of a plank jutting from a pile of garbage which catapulted a discarded frying pan through the air.

"Maybe next time, you'll mind your own business," Bad Bill growled, aiming the gun at her head. "So long, Mayor!"

There was a sharp thwack as the projectile collided with Bill's skull and he fell to the ground with a thud. Everything went silent. Sekai sat up trying to catch her breath and make sense of what just occurred. Suddenly, the town erupted in cheers shattering the calm.

"Bill? Bill?," she panted, smacking his face repeatedly in an attempt to get a response.

He was unconscious. She smirked at the sight of the large knot on the side of his head before picking up and studying the relatively undamaged frying pan. Tossing the kitchenware aside she stumbled to her feet and back to where Rango stood in shock.

"Rango, you throw that frying pan?" She asked as she approached him, looking back over her shoulder at Bill sprawled on the ground, "That was a pretty nice shot, perfect timing too. Thanks man."

She patted him on the back, snapping him from his trance.

"Yeah? It was pretty nice huh? Yeah! Just like I planned it!" He boasted.

"Ok ok, it wasn't that cool. Help me get him to the jail," she said going back out to Bill and grabbing one of his arms.

The townsfolk ran out for a closer look and to aid their heroes.

"Allow me," offered Wounded Bird, taking over for the mayor and assisting the sheriff in locking the outlaw away.

"What can I do?" asked Waffles.

"Grab Bill's bag there," instructed Sekai, massaging her now sore jaw.

He picked it up and looked inside, "Whoa! This bag's full of dynamite!"

"What're you doin' with all those explosives, Bill?" Rango interrogated in the jail house.

Bad Bill groaned incoherently from where he laid in his cell.

"Give up, Rango. He's still out of it. Ask him tomorrow," Sekai suggested.

"Yeah, alright."

Later, at the Bank of Dirt, Parsons removed Bad Bill's wanted poster from the wall.

"Outstandin' job, Mayor! I was wonderin' how long he was gonna be allowed to harass the townsfolk before somebody stood up to 'im," said the mole.

Sekai studied the poster of Rattlesnake Jake.

"Excuse me," Rango interjected. "It was _my_ bullet that stopped Bill."

"Right, just the same though, I'm afraid the Bank doesn't have the 30 gallon reward to pay you guys right now. I'm sorry. I can write you an IOU."

"It's alright, Parsons," Sekai consoled, absentmindedly brushing a claw over the portrait snake's eyes. "These are tough times besides it was a pleasure to take Bill off the street."

Parsons noted her interest in the poster, "Yep, that's Jake an' he's worth even more'n Bill. He'll be comin' noon tomorrow just like he does ev'ry Thursday. Rumor has it you'll be takin' care of 'im for us. You do to Jake tomorrow what you did to Bill today and you'll be in line for an even bigger reward; a whoppin' 50 gallons!"

Sekai smiled at him a bit then she turned to leave. Rango followed.

"Why didn't you accept the IOU? 30 gallons?" He cried, "You know what I could've done with 30 gallons of water?"

"Take a shower," the mayor teased.

"Hehe … you're hilarious, but actually-"

"Shh!" She interrupted, "You hear that?"

"What?" The chameleon asked.

"Listen."

He stopped and attempted to hear what she was hearing but to him there was nothing beyond the sound of the citizens resuming their daily agendas.

"Is this a joke?"

She ran out into the street and he followed inquisitively.

"You're tellin' me you honestly don't hear that?" she said, putting an enormous ear to the ground.

The fennec started digging.

"I don't hear anything but I don't have satellite dishes on my head either, so-"

"Shut up an' dig!" she barked, tossing dirt aside.

Rango reluctantly joined in, "What are we diggin' for?"

"Ow! What tha hell? What are ya tryin' to do, scratch mah damn scalp off mah head?" A random voice shouted from within the ground as the two officials' excavation uncovered it.

A blind mole reached above ground swinging a cane to halt his assailants. Rango and Sekai stepped back on opposite sides of the opening, narrowly avoiding being struck.

"Balthazar? Jedidiah? Ezekiel? What are you three doin' here this time?" Rango inquired as two more rodents peered up from the hole.

"Oh hey there, Sheriff. We's just takin' a little walk is all … underground," responded Balthazar slyly, recognizing the sheriff's voice.

"Oh ok, fellas. Have a good day then."

"Why thank you, Sher-," Balthazar began, interrupted by the sound of guns clicking behind his head.

Jedidiah and Ezekiel instantly threw their arms up in submission.

"Rango, don't tell me you believe that," Sekai growled, revolvers targeted on the trio at point-blank range.

"Who's yer lady friend, Sheriff?" Balthazar asked calmly, popping a cactus fruit in his mouth.

"This here is Sekai, the new mayor of Dirt, who takes her job way too seriously," Rango replied before reprimanding the fox. "Will you put those away? They're just takin' a walk!"

"If I had a cricket sandwich for ev'ry time I heard that excuse I'd be as fat as you!" she argued back.

"You think I'm fat?"

"I think you look good, Sheriff Rango," said Jedidiah quickly in an attempt to flatter his family's way out of the situation.

"Yeah, real nice," added Ezekiel, arms growing weary but still resolutely in the air.

Singling him out as the weakest link, Sekai poked the smallest rodent in the back of the head with a gun, "You, turn around!"

Ezekiel did as he was bidden. He fearfully stared at the gold pistol now square in his face.

"Are you gonna honestly look me in the eye and tell me you three weren't plannin' on robbin' the bank?"

"H-h-honestly, Mayor, we wasn't gonna r-rob no bank," he whimpered, his dichromatic eyes locked on her emerald ones.

She flashed her canines at him, her growling growing louder. As she glared at him fiercely saliva dribbled from the corners of her mouth.

"Down, Mayor. Heel!" Rango mocked, "There's no proof that they intended to rob the bank. Just let 'em go."

"Fine, but the next time y'all feel like takin' a walk underground you best be takin' it somewhere else!" the mayor snarled, intentionally showering Ezekiel in spit.

"Yes, ma'am. We'll just be a-goin' then," said Balthazar as he quickly ushered his petrified boys back beneath the earth and left.

"Good work, Mayor," praised Rango sarcastically. "Looks like they were thoroughly intimidated."

"That's what it's all about," Sekai replied as she holstered her weapons.

"However, next time, you may want to drool less. It's just not lady like."

"Are you kiddin'? It's the drool that sells it," she grinned, wiping the saliva from her chin.

"It was definitely ... psychotic."

"That was nothin'. You should see my 'rabid' face."

"So are you headed to the Saloon? I'll buy you a drink since you gave me yours … all in my eyes, and nose, and uniform."

"No thanks," she replied as she walked away. "That reminds me; … I don't like you very much."

Rango scoffed as he watched her go. Then he turned his attention to Beans, who was unexpectedly charging right for him.

"Beans, darling," he crooned, his arms open wide to tenderly embrace her.

Suddenly, a punch to the face knocked him on his derrière.

"Rango, what's this I hear about you an' the mayor?" An irate Beans screeched, "Somethin' 'bout 'political business'?"

"OW! What'd you do that for? Are you crazy, woman?" Rango whined, holding his nose. He stood up and dusted himself off, "You should know me better than that. It's obviously just a rumor, besides you know you're the only girl for me."

He held his arms open, offering the hug once more. She glowered at him before looking away.

"Come on," he said, stepping forward and comfortingly embracing her anyway.

"Rango, I've been thinkin'," she began, calming down and leaning her head on his shoulder. "What with the jail, and the bank, and … helpin' put Bill away, I think she's done well for our town. We should warn her 'bout Jake, tell her of this plan of yours, tell her not to fight, or somethin'. To let her charge into this without knowin' what she's really up against is … it's downright dishonest."

"I think warning her won't make a difference, Beans," he replied, holding her at arm's length. "She says she _wants_ to fight him. If her throwing her own life away benefits the town, all I can say is; it's the survival of the fittest and around here … the fittest don't mess with Jake."

"True, but she just proved she can shoot," said Beans. "What if she beats him?"

"That'd be great, or … what if they beat each other?" he countered with a devilish grin. "Relax, Beans. I'm just kiddin'. Everything'll be alright, but if it makes you feel any better I'll try to warn her about Jake."

"So what just happened here?" She asked, inspecting the hole, "Was that the Hill clan? What were they doin' here?"

"They were just takin' a walk."

"A walk? Way over here? That don't make any sense at all."

"You sound just like the mayor. I know they had ill intentions in the past but now it's time to let bygones be bygones. We can talk about it later, Beans."

He left her and headed for the saloon.

Meanwhile, Sekai made her way down the town street, the sound of rapid footsteps closing in behind her.

"Alright, who's followin' me?" she asked.

"Mayor, I hardly say this to anyone but you were awesome today," praised Priscilla, coming up beside her and making her pace match the mayor's. "So whatcha gonna work on now? That bath house idea you were talkin' about?"

"Well, I thought I'd kick back for an hour or so and watch the sunset. Then maybe work on a nap."

"You had a break earlier today. As your assistant I gotta make sure you stay productive. I even made a list of town improvements you could make."

"If you recall that break was interrupted."

"Fine, you got 30 minutes. Then we can start on a new project."

"Kid, you are somethin' else," replied Sekai, putting some distance between them.

"30 minutes!" The cactus mouse called after her as she watched the fennec crossed the street to the post office and deftly climb atop its roof.

Finally alone and making herself comfortable, Sekai gazed up at the heavens. The sky was a rainbow of colors as the sun set in the west, yet an already visible moon glowed in the darkening expanse. Off in the distance a desert song dog let out its melodic cry. Some peace at last.

"Hey, Mayor!" a voice called up to her, shattering her reverie. "What're ya doin'?"

Quite annoyed, Sekai lazily looked over the rooftop's edge to identify who would dare to pester her now. Her scowl was greeted by Waffles' bright, smiling eyes and warm, near-toothless grin.

"Nothin'," she sighed, her irritation fading. "Why does it seem like every time I turn around you're right behind me, kid?"

"Oh … I'm sorry, I can leave you alone," he answered dejectedly.

"Nah, between you an' the little girl, I've got quite the entourage goin'. So, why don't you come on up here then?"

"Uh, ok … comin'!"

The horned toad's shambling ascent to the roof amused the little fox. Once up there he gratefully took a seat beside her.

"Phew, you can't watch the sky from the ground like everybody else?" He panted with a laugh, "I don't think these buildin's were made for climbin'."

"No, horned toads weren't made for climbin'," Sekai chuckled. "I don't think we've been properly introduced even though I'm sure you know I'm Sekai … and you are?"

"Waffles. No offense, but what kind of western name is Sekai?"

"No offense, but what kind of western name is Waffles?"

He shrugged and she laughed again.

"It's East African for 'be humorous'," she answered lying back on the roof and watching the stars slowly appear.

He laughed.

"See? Apparently, it's true."

"Oh ok. Well, I guess Waffles is my daddy for 'I like Waffles'."

Sekai snorted, "That's funny. I should call you 'Sekai'. Wait, Waffles? I've heard your name in town before. I heard you write 'surprisingly bad' haiku."

"Oh yeah. Why? You wanna hear some?"

"Go ahead."

"Ok," he cleared his throat.

"New fox in our town

She is our new mayor now

Can she save us all?"

"Wow," Sekai said, entranced. "That _was_ surprisingly bad."

"Sorry."

"No, I liked it. Let's hear another," she smiled.

"That's all I got right now, but it reminds me; you know Rattlesnake Jake comes tomorrow."

"So I've heard."

"You ain't gonna fight 'im are you?"

"I've already talked the talk, so now there's nothing left to do but give it everythin' I've got. I said as mayor I'd protect this town and you guys gave me the job, therefore I guess I don't have a choice now do I? Yep, tomorrow your haiku will have an answer."

His permanent grin melted away as his gaze drifted downward. Sekai noticed.

"Don't worry though. I'll make boots outta 'im," she consoled.

"Yeah, but be careful though. Jake's tough … and … you had a pretty close call with Bill today."

"Shoot! I think I did pretty well. I put Bill away and I didn't die! If you achieve your goal it doesn't matter what else happened, how it happened, or what could've happened. It's a win!"

"I guess so," his smile returning as he watched her watch the stars. Her great ears were torn and tattered and two jagged scars marred her muzzle, yet he could tell she wore the marks with pride thus reflecting her compelling belief on objective attainment. In the moonlight, her weapons still glimmered. "Where'd you get those revolvers?"

"They're nice, right?" She said, drawing one and tossing it to him. Surprised, he clumsily caught it.

"I'll say," he replied as he inspected the firearm's thin silver trimming. "Wow, it's so pretty … like it's not even real.

"Oh, they're real alright. So you might wanna point it that way."

"So … where'd you get 'em?"

"I … found 'em … in the desert," Sekai replied hesitantly, quickly taking the pistol back and putting it away. "Anyway, what did you think of the jail's design?"

"Huh … oh, it's great! Where'd you learn masonry?"

"The bricks? They're just simple adobe bricks. I learned to make them from the Hopi."

"Indians? Wow. I bet you've been all over the world huh?"

"Nope. Just Connecticut … and probably most of this desert."

For a while they slipped into silence as they watched the sky.

"The stars are so beautiful out here. You can hardly see 'em in the city," Sekai smiled, breaking the stillness.

"You've been to a city? What's that like?" Waffles asked excitedly.

"It's kinda just like here, but faster. You'd think the convenience would make things easier but it's just a different kind of hard. You know how we all struggle for water here? In the city, they fight over green paper."

"What do they use it for?"

"Beats me. The stuff tastes awful but humans love it."

"They eat it?"

"Nope. They just like to collect and fight over it."

"Wow. That's dumb."

"Yup. It's definitely lonelier in the city too. Everyone's so wrapped up in their own lives there. Everybody here is so warm to one another, even after a scrap. It's like you depend on each other."

"We do depend on each other. They don't depend on each other in the city?"

"No, they do. They just don't act like it."

The pair lapsed into silence.

"I sure could use a glass of water," said Sekai.

"Me too."

"If only we could make it rain. That'd solve everythin'. I don't suppose you know any rain dances huh?" She teased.

"Rain dances?"

"Yeah, it's a dance to make it rain. A dance for water."

"I know … it's just that dancing for water … that sounds like -," he replied, stopping abruptly.

"What?"

"Well, a while back we had this dance we did every Wednesday at noon. It was Mayor John's idea."

"Oh yeah? How'd it go?" she asked, smiling devilishly.

"Uh … well, it sorta went like this."

Sekai struggled to hold back her laughter as Waffles began showing her the steps.

"I forgot the rest," he fibbed, consumed with embarrassment as Sekai's irrepressible laughter filled the night air. "Besides, i-it's kinda hard to do without the music."

"Oh man! There was music too?" She cackled, sides starting to ache.

"Yeah, Mayor John would play this one song from the radio in his office."

"You mean _my_ office. That means I have a radio now! That dance idea sounds like fun. We'll have to do it sometime."

Waffles groaned, unsure. Quiet overtook them once more as another coyote howled, sounding much closer. Being a common desert sound, they ignored it.

"So, uh … I guess you and the sheriff are an item?" Waffles pondered at last, taking care not to make eye contact.

"Oh no no no. NO!" Sekai shook her head.

"But don't you guys have uh, you know … 'political business'?"

"Hell no!" the mayor snarled, grabbing Waffles by the shirt. "Who said we did?"

"T-the whole town's talkin' about it," he stammered.

"That jerk! I'll kill him!" she yelled before jumping off the roof and heading to the saloon.


	4. Chapter 4

After a long day's work the Saloon was always full as the townsmen bonded over competitive anecdotes and their mutual thirst and fatigue. However, tonight the bar was abuzz with talk of the recent showdown.

"Such agility. She's simply magnificent," said Ambrose, seated at a table with Spoons, Wounded Bird, and the sheriff.

"Yep. She sure showed Bill he can't come here an' bully people off their land like he use'ta when ol' Mayor John was in charge. Did ya see when she had him runnin' fer his gun?" Spoons added, before spitting into a nearby spittoon.

"Wonder what Bill was gonna do with all that dynamite," pondered Buford from the bar counter as he cleaned shot glasses. "We could've had a full blown tragedy on our hands if it weren't for the mayor. No pun intended."

There were murmurs of unanimous agreement from the tavern's patrons. Even Doc mumbled something reminiscent of accolades from where he lay passed out over the counter in his customary stupor.

"Alright guys, she ain't that great. You're forgettin' whose _one_ bullet took out Bill and saved her life," said Rango.

"That is true," said Wounded Bird.

"Ah, Rango's just jealous," teased Elgin. He finished his cactus juice and added, "Maybe everyone likes the mayor better."

"Me? Jealous? That's preposterous! You're all supposed to like her better. She's a woman and therefore easier on the eyes and more of a pleasure to have around … if you know what I mean."

"'Political business'?" asked Spoons.

"That's right. 'Political business'," the chameleon smiled coolly as he took a swig of his drink.

A few in the crowd applauded, intrigued by the sheriff's claim. Noticing, Rango stood up to satiate the men's hunger for a lustful tale.

"In fact it takes a strong brave man to give a woman like Sekai the 'political business'!" Don't tell anyone I told you, especially not the mayor, but much like a wild animal a feisty woman can be broken," he continued, climbing atop a table proudly yet nervously checking the door should Sekai or Beans walk in. "You can tie 'em up and give 'em a little smack on the rear when they get outta line … or just for fun."

The men all laughed and cheered except for Wounded Bird who did not see this ending well when Sekai entered the bar.

"Sounds like a good way to get the taste slapped outta yer mouth," said Elgin, also doubtful.

"Then you, my friend, have obviously never given a woman the 'political business'," countered Rango, letting his guard down as he basked in the adulation of his male peers.

Suddenly, he couldn't breathe. A fuming Sekai had him in a chokehold.

"Say 'political business' again! Say it one more time! I dare you! I double dare you!" she threatened.

"You're going to kill him," warned Wounded Bird, though feeling he somewhat deserved it.

"Hell yeah I am!" she snarled.

Elgin stepped in to help Wounded Bird pry her off the sheriff before he asphyxiated.

"What's your problem?" Rango wheezed.

"I'm sick of your rumors, Rango," she answered. "You have the whole town believin' we have 'political business' behind closed doors.

"Mayor Sekai?" shouted Priscilla, running into the saloon.

"You know when I first said that I didn't mean it that way," he replied.

"Well what about this time?" Sekai asked, furious.

Buford, Elgin, Wounded Bird and the rest of the townsmen quickly ran outside while the law makers quarreled.

"Sheriff Rango?" the cactus mouse cried.

"This time's different. I was in front of the boys," Rango continued. "Besides, I'm sick of you stealin' my thunder with your skill and your made up stories."

"I'm sick of you callin' me a liar!" Sekai barked.

"You called me the village idiot!"

"You said my boobs were fake!"

"You kicked me in – the – NUTS!"

"MAYOR? SHERIFF?" shouted Priscilla.

"WHAT?" they both responded at last.

Their screaming echoed in the now empty saloon.

"Hey, where'd everybody go?" Rango wondered as Sekai ran outside after Priscilla to where the other townspeople stood. He swiftly caught up with them.

"What's going on?" the mayor questioned as she looked upon the panic-stricken faces of the people.

The cactus mouse sadly sighed, "The water's been stolen again."

Sekai ran to the bank with Rango close behind. Inside, Parsons was bound and blindfolded on the floor.

"What happened here?" Sekai inquired as she untied him.

"Three huge beasts came in and tied me up!" he replied, still shaken. "They must've taken the water!"

"Where's Angelique?" Rango wondered.

"She went to lunch not long before the attack! What if they got her?" the unnerved teller cried.

"If only we were that lucky," said Sekai.

"M-Mayor!" gasped the assistant banker in shock.

"I'm only kiddin'. I'm goin' after the thieves."

"I'm goin' too," said the sheriff quickly.

"Whatever's goin' on I want to help!" called Waffles, running as quickly as his short legs could carry him up to the two law keepers.

"The more the merrier," responded the fennec.

"Good, 'cause I'm a'goin' too," said Elgin, overhearing as he peered into the bank.

"Those robbers were huge, ugly monsters," said Priscilla worriedly to the mayor. "You an' Sheriff Rango have to work together to get our water back. You _are_ gonna work together right?"

"Exactly, how 'huge' are we talkin'?" Rango asked the teller nervously.

To illustrate Parsons stretched his arms as far above his head as he could which elicited a fearful yelp from the chameleon.

"Takin' down the thieves an' bringin' the water back I can do, Priscilla, but workin' with Rango … eh, I'll do my best," answered Sekai with a half-hearted smile.

They all left the bank and rejoined the terrified townsfolk in the street.

"Wounded Bird, we're gonna need you to help us trail the thieves," said Rango.

"They're on foot. Three sets of tracks. Dog-like in origin," the indian nodded as he examined the head of the tracks leading into the desert night.

"Let's ride!" shouted the sheriff, mounting his greater roadrunner. Wounded Bird, Waffles, and Elgin did likewise.

"Wait!" Sekai interrupted, before sprinting to her office. She grabbed a large stick of dynamite from Bill's bag on her desk. When she moved the bag an old roll of wide duct tape fell to the floor. She thought for a moment before grabbing it and dashing back out to the others.

"Are you ready now?" asked Rango, a bit annoyed.

"Yes," she replied, giving Waffles the tape to hold, then mounting a bird.

"Good. Let's ride!"

They rode into the night with Wounded Bird leading the way. The town shrank on the horizon as they followed the tracks deeper into the wasteland. The moon, bright and full, illuminated their path. As the group traveled the desert winds began to pick up, shifting the sands.

"It's gettin' windy," said Wounded Bird stopping to counsel the others. "Bad for tracks."

"Then I guess we better move faster," said Sekai.

They pushed the speeds of their birds in hopes that they would find the robbers before the trail was covered, but the wind would not yield to their desires. The sand was blinding and the group had no choice but to wait until the storm passed. It was brief, but the damage was done. Before them now laid nothing but untouched dunes.

"Damnit!" yelled Sekai, throwing down her hat in frustration as the others shook off their sand coats.

"What do we do now?" Waffles asked as he picked up her hat and dusted it off before offering it back to her.

Sekai didn't notice him as she paced back and forth in contemplation. Unable to find an immediate solution she fell to the ground with a heavy sigh, "This is all my fault."

"You're darn right it is!" said Rango, dumping the sand from his hat.

"If I hadn't been arguing with you," she said, ignoring his attempts to make her feel bad. "If I had listened to Priscilla when she first called for me I might've even caught them in the act."

"Yeah and good job on the updated bank security by the way," Rango criticized.

"My security measures should have worked flawlessly … unless … they were deactivated by someone," mused the fennec.

"Sure, blame your inadequacy on someone else," Rango continued.

"You're one to talk about being inadequate you deceitful, incompetent, selfish, immature little pretender!" barked a now angry Sekai as she stormed towards him.

Just before the two collided Wounded Bird and Elgin stepped between them.

"Maybe we should split into groups…," began Elgin, holding back the mayor.

"… and separately search for clues," finished the indian, protecting the sheriff who seemed unaware his life had yet again been in jeopardy.

"That's a good idea right Mayor?" added Waffles attempting to calm Sekai down.

"Whatever," she replied, taking her hat back angrily.

Rango and Wounded Bird went one way and Sekai, Waffles, and Elgin went another. Sekai's group hadn't wandered far before she despondently seated herself upon a rock to think.

"Say Elgin, what kind of predators do you think are out here this time of night?" asked Waffles as he helped the bobcat search for clues.

"I'd say all manners of lizard-eatin' beasts and bogeymen come out right 'bout now," chuckled Elgin, trying to scare him.

"Really? T-that's alright. I ain't afraid of nothin' … especially with our mayor here. Right Mayor? Mayor?" upon realizing Sekai was not right behind them, he turned and saw her seated dejectedly on the rock. He made his way back to her side. "What's the matter?"

"Nothin'," she replied.

"Aww, you can tell me…"

"I said it's nothin'!"

Becoming ever more adept at sensing her annoyance he dropped the subject and just sat beside her. Sekai turned away from him to continue her sulking and deliberation.

"I know you don't wanna hear this," Waffles declared. "But … I … uh, I think you should apologize to the sheriff."

"What? You think I was wrong?"

"No, but this would be a lot easier if we all worked together."

"Why should I apologize?"

"Well … 'cause you're the woman and therefore smarter and more understandin'. Besides if you keep makin' him feel incompetent he's gonna keep fightin' to prove he's not. Dirt needs you guys to cooperate."

There was silence between them as Sekai meditated on his words. As she thought, he stared at her with his vibrant, wide orange eyes and his ever-present smile which made it difficult for her to resist the purity of his guidance.

"Alright, alright. Just stop lookin' at me like that," she said at last.

"Like what? How was I lookin' at you?"

"Like that; all innocent like."

"Sorry," he responded sincerely, the grin unwavering.

"You just can't turn that smile off can you?" Sekai laughed.

"No, ma'am, I can't."

"You're pretty wise, Waffles."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, come on," she said, getting up from her perch. "We shouldn't've let Elgin go off alone."

Meanwhile, Rango and Wounded Bird were deep in their own search.

"Can you believe her? Calling _me_ incompetent, selfish, and immature?" ranted the sheriff.

The raven shook his head and continued perusing the area.

"What's that, Wounded Bird? You think I started it by unfairly blaming her? That's absurd!"

"I didn't say anything," replied Wounded Bird.

"What do you mean you think I should apologize? How could you say somethin' like that?"

"I didn't say that either."

"Oh, so now you think I'm a jerk?"

"You need professional help," the indian concluded, returning to his investigation.

"I'm sorry and you're right, Wounded Bird, whether we like each other or not we have to work together on this. This is a good thing after all she's willing to do all the work I don't want to do. All I have to do is somehow stay on her good side... assuming she has one. So, I will apologize even though I haven't done a thing wrong. I'm so glad we had this talk," Rango said, heading back to where the groups divided.

"Sure," Wounded Bird responded, ignoring him now.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry about the delay everyone. Had to take a break from writing for exams and events. If you are starting at this new chapter you may want to go back and re-read the other chapters. This started as a near-plotless sequence of jokes, but as it was all I could think about during the aforementioned exams and events I decided to add new material in to give it some real direction. I'm not much of a writer. I only write to give me ideas to draw (great for preventing artists' block). I didn't even know what a Mary Sue was, but through everyone's hatred of Sekai, I learned. Anyhow, you don't have to like my OC but please enjoy the rest of the story anyway. Oh, and Sekai 'leaning on the Mary Sue fence' sounds like a fun picture to draw. =p**

**Please enjoy this refreshingly short chapter. =p**

* * *

"Elgin?" called Sekai as she and Waffles searched for him.

"Elgin?" shouted Waffles.

"Hey now, what's with all the hollerin'?" asked Rango, Wounded Bird not far behind. "I gotta talk to you, Mayor."

"We'll talk later. Help us find Elgin," she replied.

Suddenly, an agonized scream filled the night.

"That sounded like him!" said Waffles, heading for the sound.

"Really? I sure hope he doesn't scream like that," Sekai said, following him.

When they reached him, Elgin sat at the bottom of a dune with the broken arm of a cactus on the ground beside him.

"Hey, Elgin, you alright?" the sheriff bellowed down to him. "We heard you scream!"

"Damn cactus fell on mah head … and I didn't scream!" he responded, pulling needles from his forehead without as much as a wince.

The others slid down the embankment to join him.

"Yeah you did. It was like 'Eeeeeeee!'" teased Waffles, inducing a glare from the bobcat.

Wounded Bird inspected the damaged cactus the offending piece originated from. Caught in its spines were dark clumps of fur.

Sekai came over for a look as well, "Damn Elgin, what were you doin'? Wrestlin' the cactus?"

"That hair ain't mine," he answered.

"Coyote fur," Wounded Bird interjected.

"You don't say," said the mayor, grabbing a tuft of it.

Unexpectedly, a thunderous growl broke the stillness causing the boys to leap back in alarm.

"Pardon," Sekai smiled, patting her abdomen to quiet it. "I guess it has been a while since the ol' tank was filled."

"T-that was your stomach?" asked Waffles.

"You're not gonna eat any of us are ya?" inquired Rango, presuming in such an event he'd be the first to go.

"If one of you dies I might consider it," she teased.

"Then we should stop an' eat. Maybe get some shut eye too," offered Elgin.

"We didn't bring any food so there's nothin' to eat," said Rango.

"I dunno about that. There's plenty of these things around," said Waffles, pulling a couple large pill bugs from their lair in the earth.

"Yeah, we could also eat the prickly pear," added Sekai.

"No way, Wounded Bird says that fruit is a natural laxative," argued Rango.

"Then don't eat the fruit, eat the leaves. Haven't you ever heard of nopal?"

"Mmm, fried nopales," commented the indian.

"Yeah, Wounded Bird knows what I'm talkin' 'bout," she said, carefully collecting the cactus leaves.

Elgin started the fire as the other men gathered pill bugs.

"It's been a long time since I've had kebabs," said the sheriff as he cautiously threaded the cactus onto a stick.

"What's that?" asked Elgin knowing Waffles and Wounded Bird were wondering the same.

"This is a kebab," answered Sekai, handing him the stick after piercing the round body of a bug and two cactus leaves with it. "Now put it over the fire till the needles burn off. You'll love it."

He did so. The mayor gave Wounded Bird and Waffles sticks as well and encouraged them to try it.

"It hits the spot," grinned Waffles elatedly.

"Yeah and I know the perfect sauce to go with this," she said, biting into the warm, crunchy bug carcass. "Something tangy, sweet, … sublime."

"You never did tell us how you got out here, Mayor," instigated Rango, changing the subject.

"But I did tell you that was a tale for another time," she retorted.

"Well, now is another time."

They exchanged glares.

"I know exactly what you want to hear, Rango. You want me to tell everyone that I was some soft, pampered, tenderfoot of a house pet, right?" Mayor Sekai met his prodding with lax enthusiasm. "Well, it's true. I was a pet."

"I knew it!" he jumped up from his seat, pointing his kebab at her accusatorily.

The group stared at him questioningly.

"Whatsa pet?" Waffles inquired eventually.

"It means she's not from the west, that she knows nothing about the west, and she lived with humans!" the sheriff shouted.

Waffles, Wounded Bird, and Elgin gasped and gazed at Sekai in disbelief. She just looked back growing a bit concerned by the quiet and the length of their staring.

"You lived with humans?" asked the excited horned toad.

"That destroy everythin' they touch?" added the bobcat.

"Like angry, malevolent gods?" supplemented the raven."

"Uh … yeah… ," replied the fennec now confused by their sudden interest.

"That's amazing!" the trio said.

"What? 'Scuse me, fellas, you're missin' the point," the vexed chameleon exclaimed.

"What happened?" demanded Waffles, scooting closer to the mayor.

"Aww, it's borin'. You don't wanna hear about that," she milked their curiosity as she reclined on a rock, belly full. "I'm sure Rango has a much better story."

"As a matter of fact I-," the sheriff began.

"See? He ain't got nothin'. Go on with your story, Mayor," interrupted Elgin.

"Alright then. I'll tell you boys the story of how I challenged a god and my subsequent exile into this desiccated, barren hell. However, I'm makin' it short."

The others made themselves comfortable as Rango pouted to himself.

"So there I was, livin' in a water-abundant paradise amongst the ever fickle two-legged deities," Sekai began. "I was a trophy, carted around in the mistress' handbag and dressed up like a little doll. Everyone wanted to touch me. The little demigods tossed me around like a toy. The goddesses coddled me like a baby and the heavy hands of the manly gods roughly petted me just to give their egos the stroke of havin' tamed the wild once again. When it was all said and done all my spare time was spent in the isolation of a cage. For years I endured the ignorance of my needs and I was one 'koochie-koo' away from the edge of insanity. I can't recall exactly what set me off, but I do remember the feelin' of his soft flesh rippin' beneath my teeth and the warm metallic tang of blood washin' over my tongue."

All the men's eyes were wide with awe as they took in the mayor's tale.

"You bit a human … as wrathful as they are?" asked Elgin.

"Bit the hell outta 'im," she replied. "And they were wrathful alright. On their way to California, they left my ass in the middle of the desert … in that accursed cage."

"How did you get out?" questioned Waffles.

"Well, what with me bein' so vulnerable and delicious-lookin', there were plenty of predators around just dyin' to help get me out of the cage."

"So, you think you made the right decision; choosing to be wild and free?" inquired Rango.

"Right or wrong, this is the consequence of my actions and there's no turnin' back … but there are things from that life that I do miss … if that's what you were wonderin', Rango."

"Anyone in particular?" asked Waffles, expression uncharacteristically mellow all of a sudden.

She looked at him curiously and chuckled, "No. Anyway, I'm callin' it a night boys."

She laid back and put her hat over her face in indication not to disturb her. Wounded Bird put out the fire before settling down. Elgin leaned against a rock and was out in minutes. Waffles sprawled on his back and counted the stars till he dozed off. Rango, unable to sleep, sat there and stared into the night.

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**I know you are all waiting for the Rattlesnake Jake fight. It's coming ... I promise. =p**


	6. Chapter 6

**Pleased to introduce some new OCs; Coyote Kyle, Ally, and Sierra. Enjoy!**

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The sheriff finally began to drift when a blood-curdling howl reminiscent of a tortured shriek pierced the darkness, awaking him and guaranteeing he would not fall asleep again. It was close, horrifically close. He rushed to the mayor's side and tapped her shoulder repeatedly.

"Sekai, are you awake?" he gulped.

"No I'm not," she groaned, voice muffled beneath her hat.

"What?" he whispered, removing her hat. "I know you heard that. Wake up."

She ignored him. He flicked her in the nose.

"Why you irritating little son of a-," she snapped, ready to beat him down.

"Shhh," he put her hat over her mouth to silence her as the chilling wail rang through the air once more.

"Wake the others," she said quietly, putting her hat back on.

Sekai belly-crawled up the high mound of sand separating the group from the terrifying sounds and the boys lined up beside her. Together they peered over the peak of the dune keeping as close to the ground as possible. In the dell below, a camp was pitched and three coyotes were situated around the fire. A larger coyote and a smaller one were together and opposite the fire from them was another smaller canid, appearing to be on guard.

"It's them alright. They're the thieves and there's the jug over near the female sittin' by herself. It must still have water inside if they're protecting it," whispered Sekai.

Unexpectedly, the larger coyote let out another of the ear-piercing cries.

"Dammit, Sierra! How many more are there? !" he yowled in agony as his smaller companion ripped needles from his skin.

"I think that's the last one," she replied. "And don't yell at me. You're the one who ran into the cactus."

"That's cactus 1, Kyle 0," laughed the sentry as she leaned against the jug, nonchalant.

"Shut up, Ally!" snarled Kyle, licking his wounds.

"Alright team, there's only 3 of them and there's 5 of us," said the mayor to the others. "The odds are in our favor."

"Oh no, that doesn't mean anything. They're twice our size and the big one's gotta be at least three times our size," trembled Rango, a nervous wreck. "If we try to go up against them we are dead. Dead you hear me?"

"Waffles, you still got that tape?" asked Sekai.

"Yes, ma'am. Here," he replied, handing it over.

She tore a piece from the roll and put it over the sheriff's mouth, "Ok guys, listen. I've run into those three before. That's Coyote Kyle and his pack. They're one of the first predators I ran into out here. If I remember right Kyle's pretty near-sighted."

"And the girls?" asked Elgin.

"What about 'em?" she said, putting the roll of tape over her head and arm to wear it across her body.

"Can you recall if they have weaknesses?" clarified Wounded Bird.

"Umm … no. I think they pretty much kick ass."

"Then how'd you get away from them last time?" questioned Waffles.

"Last time there were some other animals around that gave me a chance to escape. Look, we don't have to beat 'em, we just need to get the water back. Waffles, you and Elgin help me distract 'em. Rango, you and Wounded Bird use the roadrunners to get the water outta here. It looks like the girls have one gun each. Kyle has two, but since his eyesight's bad he's probably a lousy shot. Alright, let's do it."

Rango ripped the tape from his mouth, whining piteously, and followed the indian. Sekai, Waffles, and Elgin climbed over the peak and were now visible although the outlaws still didn't notice. The mayor drew a weapon, aimed for Kyle, and fired. The bullet just barely missed his nose, shearing off a few whiskers. However, it got their attention and the coyotes turned to stare down the heroes on the hill, growling.

Waffles' hands trembled as he held them at his sides, ready to draw in an instant. He was afraid yet excited, this was real adventure. It was what he'd always wanted, but with real adventure came real danger and he couldn't forget that this could be his last night alive. Elgin gulped quietly. He was ready to follow the mayor into battle, but if things got hairy he wanted to be ready for a strategic retreat. Sekai was terrified for this time she _had_ to fight them and they were the largest predators she'd face to date, but mostly because the lives of her companions, no, the whole town of Dirt depended on her success. It didn't matter how, she just had to get the water back, but she'd never be able to forgive herself if her friends came to harm. It wasn't going to happen. She shook off the negative thoughts and put on her game face and toughest attitude, "I'm only gonna say this once; hand over that water, Coyote Kyle!"

"Is my nose decievin' me or is that our adorable little friend, Sekai, I smell?" laughed Kyle, unable to see them clearly from his distance. "Why don't you come on down here so I can get a good look at 'cha?"

The fennec observed a large, fallen Spanish Dagger which rested in the dell about 20 yards from the coyotes' camp. If they could reach it without getting shot it'd be excellent cover for the ensuing gunfight. However, they couldn't raise their suspicions or it'd be all over before it began.

"Yeah, alright," she replied, cautiously moving toward the predators.

"Are you crazy?" whispered Elgin.

"Come on, guys. If we can reach that fallen cactus we won't be out in the open. Just trust me," she murmured back.

The boys reluctantly followed.

As they moved closer, Ally sat up to better guard the container and Sierra stealthily drew her pistol.

"I knew it was you!" laughed Kyle as the fox's figure grew clearer. "I'm so glad you followed us, I wanted to personally thank you. For it was by followin' your scent into that town that we were able to find this precious life-sustainin' resource. However, there's a more pressin' issue we need to address."

"And that is?" asked Sekai still covertly guiding her team towards the refuge.

"I believe you're in possession of some things that don't belong to you. That is; my golden guns you sto-"

She fired to silence him and there was no time for Kyle to draw a weapon or evade her shot. Her bullet was directly on target for his head until it was deflected by a shot from Sierra.

"What the hell are you two standing around for? !" the mayor screamed at Waffles and Elgin, shoving them to get them moving as she darted for the cover of the dead Spanish Dagger.

Kyle and his crew opened fire on the trio as they ran. They ducked and dodged as bullets whizzed all around them in their race for the shelter. Sekai dived behind the cactus first, followed by Elgin, then Waffles. Breathing hard, she patted herself down to ensure she hadn't been shot as the outlaws' gunfire continued to zoom just over the cactus and their heads.

"Are you guys ok? ! Are you guys ok? ! Are you guys ok? !" she panicked, deliriously feeling up each of them too as she checked to see if they were wounded.

"Hey, hey, hey!" panted Waffles, still stunned with terror when her hands roved over his body in search of injuries. "I would blush but my life is still flashin' before my eyes."

She ignored his comment and quickly moved to explore Elgin. The bobcat swiftly grabbed her wrists when she touched his chest.

"We're fine, Mayor, but it's nuthin' short of a blasted miracle! What the hell'd you shoot for? ! We were sittin' ducks out there!" he hollered angrily, his adrenaline still surging.

"I'm sorry," she replied, calming down at last although her heart still raced. "My gun just went off."

Knowing it was a lie, he said, "Mayor, you're a little too impulsive for your own good."

"I know. I'm sorry, but we made it. We're all ok and I promise I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you guys. So are you still behind me?"

The gunfire ceased and the night was quiet. Waffles, now out of his shock, and Elgin looked at one another and then at their mayor before giving her a nod.

"Good," she chuckled, regaining her composure. "They must be tryin' to head over here to see if we're dead. Let's give 'em a taste of their own medicine."

Sekai, Elgin, and Waffles took different positions at the edges of the Spanish Dagger and returned fire. The coyotes scrambled for cover, Ally concealed herself behind the water jug, knowing they wouldn't shoot at it.

"Dagnabbit," whispered Rango, he and Wounded Bird hidden behind a rock behind Ally and the water. "They're supposed to be creatin' an openin' for us. What're they doin'?"

"We just have to wait," replied the indian, trying to keep the roadrunners quiet.

For Sierra and Kyle no suitable shelter was available other than sharp cacti which made for awkward hiding but they took it and all three thieves fired back. As the shootout progressed, dead leaves flew around them as Sekai, Waffles, and Elgin's plant sanctuary took a beating from the coyotes' gunshots. The standoff raged on until from the heroes' side came the clicking of empty cylinders.

"Oh crap!" cursed Sekai, diving back behind the dead cactus. "Looks like I'm out, fellas!"

"Me too," panted Waffles, re-holstering his empty revolvers and sinking down beside her.

"That makes three of us," sighed Elgin, joining them.

At the sound of their lack of ammunition, Kyle laughed uproariously, "Music to my ears. Let's finish 'em off girls! It's suppertime!"

Coyote Kyle, Ally, and Sierra pointed their weapons at the mutilated Spanish Dagger and pulled the triggers. From their guns too came the telltale clicks.

"Ha!" laughed Sekai elatedly as she leaped atop their refuge to taunt the predators."What was that you said, Kyle? ! Somethin' 'bout 'music to your ears'!"

"Uh … Mayor, what're you doin'?" asked Elgin anxiously.

"Don't make 'em mad," added a worried Waffles.

"Still so cocky," Kyle growled, throwing his pistols to the dirt. "You can have the other two but I'm fighting Sekai. Let's go, Sierra!"

The two coyotes charged for the heroes on all fours, snarling and fangs flashing.

"Get ready guys," said the mayor, bracing herself.

"What are we gonna do now?" asked Waffles, staring at the fast approaching gnashing teeth.

"We're gonna fight."

"Like hand-to-hand? We don't have the weapons for that!" exclaimed Elgin.

"There's weapons all around us," she replied, picking up a rock. "I'll take the girl, you guys can have Kyle!"

Kyle closed in, locked on Sekai. Just before he reached her she threw the rock, nailing him in one of his dark yellow eyes.

"Ahhh!" he roared, stopping in his tracks to tend his eye. Sierra halted abruptly to avoid colliding with her leader.

At this Sekai promptly jumped on the male coyote while he was occupied and from his back, pounced Sierra.

Surprised at her bypassing Kyle, Sierra leaped back just in time to avoid Sekai's canines planting themselves in her face. The female coyote swung a hefty paw at the fox, her sharp claws tearing into the fennec's clothing and hurling her to the ground.

"Ow, that hurt," groaned Sekai, picking herself up.

"You were supposed to fight Kyle," barked Sierra. "But I don't mind takin' you down!"

His vision recovered and turning to pursue his intended target, Kyle snarled, "Sierra, she's mine!"

"Elgin, we can't let 'em team up on the mayor!" said Waffles.

"You're right," the bobcat replied. "Hey you stupid, ugly mutt! Whaddya wanna beat up on that girl for?"

"Y-yeah! You too scared to fight us men?" the horned lizard taunted.

The head coyote spun to face their ridicule, "Not at all, boys."

Kyle lunged for them, seizing Waffles' shirt in his teeth. Elgin grabbed his friend's feet, initiating a tug-of-war with the predator. Kyle laughed through clenched jaws as he slowly dragged them.

"Waffles, you're gonna have to let the shirt go!" strained Elgin, pulling as hard as he could.

"No way! I'll be naked!" he cried, pushing against Kyle's nose with all his might. Suddenly, Sekai was thrown into Coyote Kyle's face, forcing him to let go.

"Thanks, Mayor," a relieved Waffles sighed. "So, how's it goin'?"

"How do you think it's going?" groaned Sekai as she weakly struggled to her feet.

"Sorry 'bout that," grinned Sierra to the alpha male. "Wow, I haven't had this much fun since … um … well, since the last time we ran into Sekai. You wanna trade, Kyle, 'an toss 'er 'round a bit? She's so aerodynamic!"

"Yeah, alright," chuckled Kyle. "I'll show you that special pitch I've been workin' on."

"No fair, you guys," pouted Ally. "Chuck her to me one time!"

The two coyotes closed in on the trio, ready for the next round.

"Enough!" shouted Sekai, abruptly kicking sand into their eyes. "I'm not a damn baseball!"

"Again with the eyes!" Kyle cried, stumbling backwards.

"That sneaky little wench!" snarled Sierra, pawing at her irritated face.

"Waffles, Elgin! Run!" advised the fennec.

"Ally, don't let 'em get away!" commanded Kyle.

"Yes, sir!" she replied, pursuing them and leaving the water unattended.

"Finally!" squealed Rango. "Come on, Wounded Bird. Let's make this fast!"

"Tie a big loop 'round jug near bottom," instructed the raven as he tied one around the container's neck. "It's easier to pull rolling from side than dragging from front."

The sheriff did so. They connected their two ends and hitched the large bottle up to all five birds.

"It's secure," said Rango, testing their knots. "Let's get goin'."

Meanwhile, Sekai, beaten and bruised, attempted to escape the newest contender. Ally sprung upon her with ease, holding her tightly in both hands. When they could see once more, Kyle seized Elgin and Sierra; Waffles.

"No more games, ladies," Kyle grinned, eyes still watery. "Let's just eat 'em."


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't own Rango or any of its characters. However, Sekai is mine. I will tell you of any other OCs as I think of them. There are characters that are unnamed in the movie that I have given names so that they may be used in my story. So far the only ones are "Legs" which is the spider undertaker and "Samuel" who is the raccoon kid. Enjoy.**

**Update 6/22/2014: Apparently the spider and the raccoon kid are named 'Mr. Black' and 'Boo Cletus' respectively but I'm not changing the older part of the story no matter how awfully I believe it's been written.**

**When I first wrote this everyone kept saying Sekai is a Mary Sue. I don't think she is one but if she seems like one then good. She's supposed to because of what happens to her later in the story. I'm tempted to just say what happens because I don't know if I'll be finishing this story but when I feel like giving up on a story, a nice review here and there makes me feel like I can go a little bit further. Thank you 'Gwen' for your review which brought me back to this dusty old relic of a fanfiction. Chapters 7 and 8 are all thanks to you.**

* * *

The campfire crackled loudly in the night as Sekai, Elgin, and Waffles, stripped of their weapons, were slowly being roasted over it.

"Yes!" Coyote Kyle chuckled to himself as he cradled the golden guns in his claws, "My beautiful babies! I missed ya so much!"

"Get a room, Kyle," teased Sierra as she prepared their meal.

"W-wait! Those are _your_ guns?" asked Waffles, "Mayor, you said you found 'em in tha desert."

"I did find 'em. I 'found' 'em away from Kyle," grinned the fennec, not just sweating from the heat now.

"I think the word you're lookin' for is 'stole'," laughed Sierra as she spun Sekai around to face the flames.

"It's not stealin' if they're already stolen," reasoned Sekai.

"Quiet! Do ya have any idea what I went through to get these?" Kyle snarled. "That bastard, Wes, and his bitch, Indy, nearly blasted my head clean off! I _earned_ these guns."

"Mayor … you stole 'em?" sighed Waffles as sweat rolled down his face.

"Really, Waffles?! That's what you're concerned about right now," replied Sekai. "Yes, I stole them, but only because I was going to die … kind of like we're all about to right now!"

"It doesn't bother me none that you stole 'em. It's just that … you lied to me."

"You're right, I lied, and I'm sorry. I just wanted you and the townsfolk to trust me."

"An' how can we do that, Mayor, if ya don't tell us the truth?" argued Elgin.

The trio fell silent as they reflected on the dispute.

"They stopped fightin'," laughed Kyle. "They must be gettin' pretty crispy."

"Why are you roastin' 'em anyway? You said we were gonna stew 'em," complained Ally.

"Well, then stop yer fussin' an' bring tha water over here," ordered Sierra.

Ally went to where the water had been placed and gasped in alarm, "It's gone!"

The others rushed over immediately.

"There's tracks! Someone must'a taken it," growled Kyle. "Sierra, let's go after 'em. Ally, watch our dinner."

"Yes, sir," replied the sentry as the other members of her pack took off.

"Where are those three?" Wondered Rango as he and Wounded Bird waited with the water at the rendezvous point, "What could be takin' so long?"

"Must've run into trouble," responded the Native American.

"You think so? Oh, that's terrible. I'm gonna miss 'em. When we get back we'll have a proper ceremony."

"We should go back for them."

"No way, we held up our end of the plan. They are just gonna have to -," the Sheriff was interrupted by a long, unwavering howl. "Oh, crap. The coyotes, they're onto us! What're we gonna do?! Wait! I think I have an idea. Wounded Bird, you hide the water. I'll get rid of these tracks."

"They stop here," said Sierra upon reaching the end of the trail.

"Impossible!" barked Kyle until he saw for himself. "Sniff around then, it's gotta be somewhere close by!"

The predators had barely pressed their noses to the ground when Wounded Bird raced passed them on his roadrunner, leading them away from the water.

"After him!" snarled Kyle, leading Sierra into pursuit.

Once they were far enough away, Rango rode towards the coyotes' camp.

"Arrgh! I'm so hungry! Ya know what, forget the stew," said Ally. "I'll have ya'll to m'self if I just eat ya now."

"Welp, I guess this is it," said Elgin as he stared into the flames.

"Yup," agreed Waffles. "Mayor, even though you lied to me, and we're 'bout to be eaten, and everyone in the town'll probably die of thirst, I want to tell you; I'm glad you were our mayor. Even if it was only for a day."

"Thanks, Waffles. That's sweet of you to say. It really means a lot," smiled Sekai.

"That was really sweet. I think I'll have _you_ for dessert but first I'ma need some silverware," teased Ally as she left.

"I don't wanna be dessert!" cried the horned toad.

"Relax guys, we'll get out of this yet," consoled the mayor once the coyote was out of earshot. "I've still got the dynamite."

"What?! Where?!" Exclaimed both the boys in terror.

"Shush, you two. It's in my bra."

Elgin sighed and shook his head, "I don't know what worries me more; that we're 'bout to be eaten alive or that we're roastin' on a spit an' you've got dynamite in your bra."

Not seeing the third member of Kyle's pack and believing the coast to be clear, Rango rode into the campsite and dismounted his steed.

"There you guys are. Are you lucky that I decided to come back for you or what?" smirked the Sheriff as he approached the fire.

"Sheriff, save us! We're gonna get eaten!" pleaded Waffles.

"Get us down, Sheriff! The mayor's gonna blow us all up!" hollered Elgin.

"Rango, you idiot! Don't stand out in the open! Hurry up and hide!" yelled Sekai.

"What are you three talkin' 'bout?! I can't understand you when you all shout at th' same time!" said Rango.

"Well, look who decided to come to dinner," growled Ally as she stepped out from behind a Spanish Dagger.

Rango quickly spun to face her, gulped, and whimpered, "Oh, t-there you are. I knew there were three of you."

"Shoot her, Rango! Quick!" Ordered the mayor.

Rango drew his pistol in a flash and fired. When Ally raised her arm to block her body, the bullet ricocheted off the fork in her claws and headed straight for the spit where Sekai, Elgin, and Waffles were bound. Just barely missing them, it severed the ropes that held them. They screamed for their lives as they plummeted towards the fire. Quickly, Sekai clung to the rope as Elgin grabbed her ankles and Waffles seized him by the waist. The threesome swung clear of the flames and landed safely in the sand.

"Oh my God! We're alive!" laughed Sekai in disbelief.

"Lemme go, Waffles!" shouted Elgin at the petrified horned toad that still hugged his waist, screaming and crying.

Ally stared, growling, still stunned that she hadn't been shot herself. She took a step toward the sheriff.

"Ah, ah! I meant to do that," bluffed Rango. "But the next one's goin' in you! Now drop your weapons and keep your hands where I can see 'em!"

Ally reluctantly complied as Waffles, Sekai, and Elgin ran to where their stuff had been piled and collected their things.

"Good work, Rango! Now keep your gun on her," chuckled Sekai as she grabbed the roll of tape and began to bind the coyote's hands and feet with it. "Answer me this, Ally; how did you guys get past the bank's traps to steal that water?"

"Traps? There weren't no traps in that bank," she snarled in reply.

"No traps? That's impossible," the fennec mused to herself. "Somebody had to have - Angelique! That traitorous, bushy-tailed skank! Ally, did any of ya see a female fox recently?!"

"Not other than the dead one I'm lookin' at now."

"Aww, shaddup," scoffed Sekai before she wrapped the coyote's muzzle with the tape.

"Hurry up, you guys," chided Rango as he headed back to the roadrunners after the coyote was secured. "We gotta get outta here before -"

Suddenly, Wounded Bird zipped through the camp.

"Run," he warned calmly as he rode away over the dunes, dust swirling in his wake.

"Uh … was that Wounded Bird?" Asked Waffles.

"Oh … crap," cursed Rango quietly to himself, aware of what was coming.

"What the hell's goin' on here?!" roared Kyle as he and Sierra thundered back into the camp and looked upon Ally hog-tied and helpless, and his dinner running free with his golden guns once again.

Rango, Elgin, and Waffles quickly hopped on their birds and followed the Native American's trail off into the desert night. Sekai, however, pulled the dynamite from her shirt and ignited it as she rode past the campfire on her way out. Furious, Kyle took after them on all fours with Sierra right behind him.

"Sheriff," cried Waffles. "They're gainin' on us! Whadda we do?!"

"Uh, I say we ride like the wind and race each other home," panicked Rango. "Last one there gets to sacrifice themselves for the rest of the team! Yah, Excelsior!"

"Um … oh-kay," replied Waffles as the sheriff pushed his bird to run faster, surging ahead of him. "Mayor, they're catchin' up! Whadda we do?!"

"Let 'em," answered Sekai solemnly, still clutching the lit dynamite in her hand.

"Uh …," sighed Waffles as he followed. "Those are both really bad plans!"

"Mayor, ya do know that dynamite in yer hand is lit, right?" inquired Elgin, a bit unsettled.

"So it is," she smirked.

"I think what Elgin means is you should throw it now! Like 'now' now! Like right-this-second now!" nagged Waffles before he anxiously guided his roadrunner away from the mayor.

"Just let them get a little bit closer," said Sekai, watching as the two coyotes closed the gap and paying no heed to the bomb itself.

"Dammit, Mayor!" hollered Elgin in dread as he seized the explosive from her and chucked it at their pursuers barely in the nick of time.

The dynamite detonated before it even hit the ground, just a few yards ahead of the predators. Temporarily rendered deaf and blind by the explosion they turned back and ran into the night, yelping piteously.

Rango led the others to place where he and Wounded Bird had hidden the water. The Native American was there waiting. With the whole group safe at last, Rango jumped off his bird and danced happily, "Wounded Bird, my injun friend, you should have been there! The 'one bullet' wonder strikes again! I saved Elgin, Waffles, and our poor, helpless mayor all by my lonesome."

"'Saved? !'" Argued Sekai. "Your one bullet took us out of the fryin' pan and almost literally into the fire!"

"Details, details, the point is that if it weren't for me you'd be sittin' in Kyle's belly right now."

"If it weren't for you, I-"

Just then, Waffles tugged at her shirtsleeve, "Now, Mayor, remember…"

"Yeah, yeah. I know," she sighed. She turned the horned toad and looked him in his large eyes, "Waffles, I wanna say that I'm sorry 'bout before. You're right; I shouldn't have lied to ya 'bout the guns. I promise I will never lie to ya ever again." Then she stepped up to Elgin and placed her paws squarely on his dusty shoulders, "Elgin, I'm sorry my impulsivity nearly got ya killed multiple times t'night, but I wanna thank ya fer stickin' by me. I promise in tha future to think things through a li'l better when lives other than my own are on tha line."

"Much obliged," gruffly nodded the bobcat as she moved passed him and approached Wounded Bird.

The fennec and the raven silently swapped glances for a moment before Sekai at last said, "Wounded Bird, I'm sure I owe ya an apology fer somethin' but I'm not exactly sure what. How 'bout this? I'm sorry fer leavin' ya alone with Rango…"

"That'll work," he responded and Sekai chuckled briefly.

"What 'bout me?!" Asked Rango, boldly sauntering up to the mayor.

"You?!" Sekai snarled as she angrily grabbed him by the shirt and the chameleon cringed.

Thinking things were about to turn ugly again, this time Wounded Bird, Elgin, and Waffles swiftly departed without even attempted to break up the subsequent fight. It had been a long, exhausting night and as far a they were concerned, the sheriff was now on his own. Once the others had left and she and Rango were alone, Sekai released her hold on him, "Rango … I'm sorry I called you useless before. You're not. Thank you for coming back and saving us … I guess you really know what you're doing out here, Mr. 'One Bullet'."

"So, you're … not going to hit me?" He asked in disbelief.

"I can still hit you if you want."

"No! No, that won't be necessary."

Then the fatigued mayor sighed and sat down on a nearby rock. Rango hesitantly came and sat near her, "While we're being honest and open; … this whole 'one bullet' thing is … well, it's nothing more than dumb luck really. I don't think I could do it on purpose if I tried. However, you … you can really shoot and fight and you've got all those neat-o scars to prove it. I don't have any scars. I act tough for the town but I'm afraid to get hurt out here. You probably won't believe this but … I was a pet too."

"I could tell," replied Sekai without looking at him.

"Anyway, my point was that I apologize for provoking you all the time. Sometimes I … get a little jealous because I'm not skilled like you," he confessed.

"You know … I'm not particularly skilled either, Rango. That's probably why I get in so much trouble, but I am decisive. I guess that's my real skill. Right or wrong, I'm always able to make a quick decision."

"I wish I had a real skill."

"Maybe dumb luck is your real skill. I sure hope I have some when I face Jake tomorrow … or today rather," she corrected, realizing it was past midnight.

They were quiet for a moment then with downcast eyes Rango said, "Maybe … you shouldn't try to fight Jake alone. I mean even I had help when I faced him."

"Are you offering to help me?"

"No, I'm saying don't stand up to Jake at all. He's too dangerous. It's true that predators have to eat but … there's usually some stranger passing through town too drunk or sun struck to keep his wits about him that Jake can hunt down."

"You're right, and this time that 'stranger' is me. I understand the circle of life but that doesn't mean Jake should be allowed to prey upon the town. He's just going to have to get his nourishment elsewhere because Dirt's got enough problems as it is. Besides, isn't that what you made me the mayor for: to hold Jake off? At least for one more week, right?"

"Y-you actually heard when I said that?!" Gulped Rango in astonishment.

In reply, Sekai silently raised her enormous ears and pointed to them with a grin.

"Of course you did. Sorry about that…"

"Don't worry about it," she responded before getting up and then stretching with a yawn. "Let's head back to town, I need some rest before I meet your 'brother'."

"Right," Rango stood up too, then he closed his eyes and began mumbling to himself.

"What are you doing?" Asked Sekai.

"Shh! I'm getting back into character. I suggest you do the same."

His muttering and babbling continued and the fennec rolled her eyes. Suddenly the chameleon's eyes shot open and he hollered, "Elgin, Waffles, Wounded Bird! Ya'll come on back now, ya hear?! We're headin' back to town!"

The raven, the bobcat, and the horned toad rejoined the two lawmakers and then the group mounted their birds and hauled Dirt's meager water supply back into town. When they rode into the settlement, the excited townsfolk awoke and poured into the street to thank them.

"I knew ya could do it!" Shouted Beans as she embraced Rango and kissed him deeply.

"This is great. We should celebrate!" Cheered Spoons.

"You guys can but I need to get a little shuteye," said Sekai.

"Me too, I'm so tired I could-," began Waffles before dropping on his back and falling asleep mid-sentence.

"Better hurry to mah bed b'fer the same thing happens to me. G'night," said Elgin, stepping over Waffles as he departed.

"Hey, Spoons and Turley, ya'll help me an' Wounded Bird get the water back in the bank," said Rango as he untied the giant jug from the roadrunners. Some of the townsfolk followed him while many others returned to their homes to go back to sleep. Once the grownups had left little Priscilla was left standing there, silently staring at the fennec.

"Good job, Mayor, now get some rest. You've earned it," the cactus mouse said at last before she returned to her home as well."

Sekai stood alone in the street at the center of town with the slumbering horned lizard on the ground before her. Removing her half jacket, she used it to cover Waffles. Then she wearily stumbled to her office and plopped herself on the bed inside. The moment she shut her eyes she was fast asleep.


	8. The Honorable Mayor & the Walk of Shame

**I don't own Rango or any of its characters. However, Sekai is mine. I will tell you of any other OCs as I think of them. There are characters that are unnamed in the movie that I have given names so that they may be used in my story. So far the only ones are "Legs" which is the spider undertaker and "Samuel" who is the raccoon kid. Enjoy.**

**Update 6/22/2014: Apparently the spider and the raccoon kid are named 'Mr. Black' and 'Boo Cletus' respectively but I'm not changing the older part of the story no matter how awfully I believe it's been written. I am keeping 'Legs' and 'Samuel', they will just be a different spider and raccoon kid.  
**

**When I first wrote this everyone kept saying Sekai is a Mary Sue. I don't think she is one but if she seems like one then good. She's supposed to because of what happens to her later in the story. I'm tempted to just say what happens because I don't know if I'll be finishing this story but when I feel like giving up on a story, a nice review here and there makes me feel like I can go a little bit further. Thank you 'Gwen' for your review which brought me back to this dusty old relic of a fanfiction. Chapters 7 and 8 are all thanks to you.**

* * *

When the sun had risen, Waffles awoke with a jolt to the sharp prick of a stick up his nose.

"Ahh! Hey! Wha'dja do that fer?!" He cried before he realized the offender was young Boo Cletus.

The juvenile raccoon answered, "I were only checkin' to see if ya was dead. Ya shouldn't sleep in tha mid'l of tha road."

Boo Cletus ran off to meet his friends as Waffles sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. When he rose to his feet the jacket that had kept him warm as he slept fell to ground. He picked it up. "This in't my jacket. In fact, it looks a lot like … Mayor Sekai's jacket," he gasped in surprise before carefully brushing the dust from it. He folded it neatly and prepared to return it to her. It was a really nice burgundy and tan leather jacket with golden buttons. He wondered if the mayor had maybe stolen the jacket as well but he didn't care. It looked great on her! He recalled the way the apparel's tassels swung alluringly each time the fennec moved. As he approached the mayor's building he prided himself on his self-control. A lesser man wouldn't be able to return a pretty girl's coat with his dignity intact. However, the more he thought about how the jacket hugged her body the more he couldn't resist. "Ugh, who am I kiddin'," he sighed before burying his nose in the garment and inhaling as deeply as his lungs would permit. A long, contented sigh ensued as he drank in the aroma of the mayor's perspiration, which was still fresher than the scent of anyone he knew in town. Satisfied, Waffles entered the building and ascended the steps. Eager to say good morning and thank her for loaning him her jacket he cheerfully knocked on the double doors of her office.

"Come in!" Sekai called from inside.

He pushed open the large door and entered.

"Mornin', Mayor! Thanks fer loa-," he started before his eyes suddenly rolled back and he fainted there in the doorway at the sight of Sekai in her lacey red bra and panty set as she attempted to button up her shirt.

When Waffles awoke for the second time that day, it was in Doc's office with the boozy bunny pressing a handkerchief to his face.

"You'll be okay," assured the physician. "Just hold on to that 'til yer nose stops bleedin'."

Waffles looked around. There were quite a few people in Doc's office with bloody noses. Even Elgin stood silently in a corner with a bloodied rag in his paw and a crusty mustache.

"Mornin', Elgin!" Greeted the horned toad. "I had this crazy dream that I saw the mayor in her underwear."

"Yeah, I'm sorry 'bout that, Waffles," said Sekai, now fully clothed in a very influential getup, as she came in from behind him and tilted his head back to help force his nosebleed to stop. "I didn't know it was you knockin' on my door."

"So, i-it weren't a dream?!"

"Not unless tha whole town was havin' tha same dream," grumbled the bobcat angrily.

"Is your nose still goin'?" Sekai teased. "Wow, you're a real bleeder aren't 'cha, Elgin?"

"Wouldn't be bleedin' a'tall if ya wouldn't gallivant through town in yer lingerie!"

"Hey, it wasn't just me! Rango had to walk down the street in his skivvies too and no one seemed to have a problem with that!"

"Uh … why were you 'n' tha sheriff in yer underwear?" Inquired a very confused Waffles.

Sekai sighed disappointedly then she leaned against a beam and began, "It's a long story, but it all started this morning:"

* * *

"Mayor Sekai, wake up! Sheriff Rango wants to speak to you in tha jailhouse," cried Priscilla as she aroused the little fox from her slumber. "It's 'bout Bad Bill."

Still half asleep, the mayor stumbled into the jail, "Rango! What'sa matter?! Did you let Bill escape?!"

"What?! No!" Answered the sheriff. "Bill, here, has a proposition fer us."

Sekai turned to Bill who was pressed up against the cell bars with his arms reaching through in a very relaxed manner. However, he stared at her with the most wicked of grins and laughed beneath his breath, which she found unsettling.

"Well, Chuckles, what's the joke?" Asked the mayor, crossing her arms in annoyance.

"You look like th' type who enjoys a bit o' sport, love," the outlaw smirked. "I challenge you an' th' sheriff to a 2 on 2 game o' golf."

"Yeah right. The moment we open that cage you'll split."

Bill's smile disappeared, "Now look 'ere. I'm a man o' my word and I won't let it be said otherwise. Besides, you two ain't got what it takes to beat me 'n golf. That's why this'll be so much fun."

Being ultra competitive, Sekai had to bite her lip to keep from accepting Bill's challenge just to shut him up. However, whilst she hesitated, Rango spoke up, "What's in it fer you and more important; what's in it fer us?"

"The losers have to grant one demand of each of the winners," replied Bill.

Rango looked at Sekai before responding, "I say, hell, let's do it!"

"And you, love?" Bill questioned.

The fennec sighed at last, "Fine, if it'll shut yer mouth…"

Sekai and Rango escorted Bill in handcuffs to the barren golf course outside of town. One of Bill's gang, Chorizo, was there waiting with all the golf equipment. When Sekai spotted him she quickly drew her pistols and got a bead on him," Drop your gun, you rat!"

Chorizo was a bit spooked by the mayor's ferocity. "Y-yes, ma'am!" He complied as he pulled his weapon from its holster and tossed it far from reach then threw his clawed hands in the air. "B-but … I'ma shrew … notta rat."

"So, Bill … Chorizo, what are the stakes?" Asked Rango as he removed the gila monster's cuffs.

Bill massaged his sore wrists whilst the shrew answered, "I want my buddy Bill's freedom."

There was as long silence before Sekai finally inquired, "And what do you want, William?"

Bill continued to smile and stare her down then he chuckled evilly, "You two made fun o' my underwear. So, when I win … ya both are gonna take a nice, _slow_ stroll through town 'n yers."

"Deal!" Hollered the sheriff.

"Rango!" Shouted the mayor.

"What? I've played this game before and with your athletic skill there's no way we can lose. Alright, Bill, you an' me! Rock, paper, scissors to see which team goes first."

The two reptiles dueled until Rango's rock surrendered to Bill and his paper's ability to cover things. Chorizo distributed a pill bug to each player. Bill took his shot, which glided beautiful right for the hole and came to a stop mere inches from it. He then putted it in for a score of 2. Chorizo was just as skilled, making it in 3 shots. Rango made it in 4. Sekai, who hadn't been paying the slightest attention, grabbed a club and asked Rango, "So, what do I do with this?"

"You're so funny, Mayor," he chuckled nervously. "You know you hit the ball with that. Stop being silly and take your turn. W-where's your ball?"

"Oh, I never got one," said Sekai.

"Impossible! I put it right in yer hand," bickered Chorizo.

"Hmm … ball? I don't remember a ball, " said Sekai to herself as she struggled to recall Chorizo giving her a golf ball. Suddenly, she let out a loud belch.

"What was that?" Asked Rango. "Did you … did you eat your ball?"

"Of course not! I just ate the pill bug Chorizo gave - ohhhhh!" Realized the fennec.

Bill snickered, "Tsk, tsk, tsk … eatin' th' ball. That's 'bout 5 strokes in't it, Chorizo?"

"That it iz!" Smirked the shrew as he wrote down the scores. Then he gave the mayor a new pill bug.

Sekai growled and threatened Chorizo with the club as she took the new ball from him. She placed it on the tee and surveyed the landscape. Spotting a nest of scorpions she swung and her ball sailed directly into it.

"Yes!" She cheered. "It'll take them forever to get that ball back so it's got to be a homerun at least!"

Bill and Chorizo laughed uproariously. Rango smacked his palm to his face in aggravation.

"'Nother 5 strokes?!" Guffawed Bill to his partner while Chorizo struggled to write clearly as he cackled.

Rango grabbed the mayor, pulled her aside, and loudly whispered, "Are you even trying to win?!"

"'Course I am!" She replied, angrily pushing his hands off of her. "And I would be winnin' too if'n you hadn't settled on golf! It's a borin' an' stupid game!"

"Just pay attention and do exactly what I do!"

So they continued playing and Sekai did much better following Rango's lead, but they both still sucked. By the time they played to the 12th hole, the mayor and sheriff were terribly far behind.

"This is it," jeered Bill. "If you don't make this 'ere hole 'n 2 shots, Rango, we win by default…"

"Fine," said the chameleon, taking his club and swaggering up to the tee. He swung and, like Bill's first shot, the bug ball landed inches from the hole.

"Nice one, but this iz yer last chance, Sheriff, " mocked Chorizo as Rango picked a putter from the golf bag.

"Come on, Rango," pleaded Sekai.

He gently putted the ball and it slowly rolled for the hole. The tension was high as it circled the opening's edge … and regrettably rolled away from it.

"Dammit, Rango!" Cursed the mayor as she threw her club to the sand.

Chorizo danced ecstatically as Bill erupted in his cocky, cockney laughter.

The sheriff quickly came up to the gila monster and bargained, "Now, Bill, maybe we could play through the rest of the holes. Sekai and I might make a surprising comeback. Or perhaps we could play another game and make it 2 out of 3?"

When Bill's laughter finally came to a stop he stared the smaller reptilian right in the eyes and gruffly replied, "Drop 'em!"

Rango whimpered as he removed his vest and shirt. When he got to his jeans he stopped and looked to Bill and Chorizo for mercy.

"Don't be shy, Sheriff. Take it off, take it all off!" Teased the shrew.

Rango glanced to Sekai before embarrassedly coming closer to the two other men, and whispering as quietly as he could so the mayor wouldn't hear, "Just between us fellas, sometimes it gets really hot and we men need better circulation … down below, therefore I … um … didn't put on any … undergarments this particular morning. So, if we could just reschedule-"

"Sucks to be you, mate," interrupted Bill callously.

The chameleon sighed and gulped as he slowly undid the belt to his pants.

Sekai was too furious for words and she glared angrily at Bill as she unbuttoned her shirt. Bill glared right back with a grin and nodded smugly. She couldn't look at him anymore so she turned away as she unbuckled her belt and stripped down to her matching crimson bra and bikini-cut panties with the black lace trimming. After stepping out of her jeans she balled them up and threw them as hard as she could at Bill's head.

He caught them right before they could hit his face, "Now, now, don't be sore losers. Nice butt by th' way."

"Yeah! Nice butt, Sheriff!" Stupidly laughed Chorizo, echoing his boss' taunt.

Bill just looked at him disappointedly, "Moron, I was talkin' 'bout th' mayor."

Sekai was obviously upset but she tried to hide it, "Thanks, William, I meant to say the same thin' 'bout you!"

Rango used his hat to cover himself and Sekai carried her guns in her hands as they walked back towards town. Bill and Chorizo went their own way taking the officials' clothing with them. It wasn't so bad out in the open desert with no one around to see the chameleon and the fennec … and it was definitely cooler.

"Rango, why didn't you have the good sense to put on underwear?" Joked Sekai.

"Don't judge me!" He retorted before mocking her in return. "Did you mean what you said back there? You really like Bill's butt?"

"It's okay … it's his face that's the problem. Why, are you jealous? Do you want me to judge yours?" She teased leaning back a bit to scope out Rango's rear. "Tsk, tsk … pitiful. You have absolutely no ass … your legs are alright though."

"Hey! You know … you said the same thing about Mr. Merrimack. What's with you and butts anyway?!"

"I'm a woman … I have needs…"

They were silent a few moments as they trudged along. Rango covertly leaned back to check out the mayor, but she caught him.

"Hey! Keep your freakish eyes on the road! Don't you look at me!" She chided.

"I wasn't!" He squealed, snapping his glance back to their path. "I- wait a minute! You can look at me but I can't look at you?!"

"That's about the size of it."

"That's not fair. T-that's a double standard!"

At the edge of the town, the two law officials stopped and traded anxious looks. Rango was especially apprehensive since, excluding his hat, he was naked.

"Well, here goes nothin'," said the fennec as they began their walk of shame through town.

Fortunately, it was early enough that all the kids, save for Priscilla, were still fast asleep. However, all the adults were out and making their rounds. As they passed the windows and open door of the Saloon, Legs' piano music suddenly became increasingly off-key. Buford continuously overfilled Hazel Moats shot glass as he stared, but the prairie dog didn't notice due to his own rubbernecking. Willie Furgus was attempting to stock the shelves of his general store when he glimpsed the mayor and sheriff and then fell off his stepladder. Rango was so humiliated by their staring he had turned completely red.

"Sekai, since you're not using your hat to cover yourself let me use it," begged the sheriff.

"No way! You're not putting your junk in my hat!" She refused.

"Then I'll use it to cover my butt! Please! You have something on! I have nothing!" He reached for her hat and she smacked his hand away. They briefly slap fought in the middle of road until Sekai gave up for fear they were attracting even more attention.

"Alright! Take it!" She growled as she removed her hat from her head and thrust it into his bare chest.

"Thank you! Thank you!" He sighed gratefully as he used it to conceal his bottom.

When he looked up again a furious Beans had seen the scantily clad pair and was storming towards him.

"You tramp!" The irate rancher screamed at her boyfriend.

"Now, honey, it's not what it looks like!" Rango warned before the desert iguana furiously tackled him to the ground. She smacked and punched at him whilst fussing a mile a minute. Poor Rango struggled to shield himself and explain the situation all while keeping his hats in place. Beans got herself so worked up that suddenly she froze, and Rango had never been so relieved. He got up and bent over to pick up Sekai's hat that he'd dropped. At this, the town strumpets hooted and whistled numerous catcalls at the sight of his uncovered rump. Unfortunately, Beans came around just in time to witness his shy chuckles as they taunted, "Heeeey, Sheriff!"

"RANGO!" Roared the rancher as she charged for him again.

"Beans, please! I'm on my way to get clothes right now!" Whimpered the chameleon.

Beans seized hold of one of his wrists and growled, "Well, let me help you get there faster!"

She angrily dragged him away leaving Sekai by herself in the street. Elgin and Spoons stood together on the wooden porch of the gun shop. The bobcat, who saw the mayor long before the mouse did, simply groaned in disgust and turned his back to her. When Spoons finally caught sight of her he elbowed his companion in the side, "Hey, Elgin, ya seein' this?"

"Nope," he responded, taking care to keep his back to the mayor as she walked by them.

Spoons looked Elgin in the face and laughed as the cat's teeny nose dripped red, "Then what's yer nose bleedin' fer?"

"It ain't…"

"Oh, yes it is."

Elgin picked up the old mouse and shook him fiercely, "I said 'it aint'!"

Spoons just laughed harder until Elgin threw him to the ground and muttered crossly. Sekai was so ashamed that she closed her eyes so she couldn't see the townsfolk's reactions. She pretended they weren't there and it was working … until Sergeant Turley tapped her on the shoulder and good-naturedly asked, "Uh … Mayor… ya may not be aware but I think ya done acciden'ly stepped out without yer clothes on. D'ya need to borrow my shirt?"

"Actually, Mr. Turley, I lost a bet. So, while I would love to accept the shirt off your back right now, I am honor-bound to see this through to the end," she replied. "I mighty appreciate your kindness though."

The war veteran nodded then saluted her as she continued into the mayoral building and up into the safety of her office, the doors of which she promptly slammed behind her. Shortly after there came a knock at the door.

"Just go away," sighed Sekai sadly.

Instead, the door slowly creaked open and little Priscilla came in with a canvas bag.

"Mayor … I overheard what ya said. Is it true you and Rango lost a bet?" She inquired.

Sekai turned away, "Yeah…"

The two fell silent for a minute.

"I don' think ya should feel bad 'bout what jus' happened. I think it's really nice that ya kept your word an' if I know the townsfolk they'll feel the same. I know I said before that I didn't think ya should be our mayor, but I'm glad that ya are," smiled Priscilla as she rushed over and hugged the fennec. "It's nice to fin'ly have an honorable mayor."

"Thank you, Priscilla. That's sweet of you to say," grinned Sekai as she hugged the cactus mouse back. "Now, could ya please be a dear an' round me up some clothes?"

"What are mayor's assistants for?" The little girl laughed before opening up her bag and pulling out a brand new outfit.

"Whoa, Priscilla this is amazing!"

"I had Mr. Black whip it up so ya'd have somethin' a li'l more official to wear in office."

"Thank you … mostly for not bringin' me a dress to wear."

"Like you'd be caught dead in a dress."

"True. With this on though, there'll be no question who's th' mayor of Dirt," chuckled Sekai as she held up the sharp, authoritative uniform.

"Oh, I'll be right back," said Priscilla as she dashed out of the office.

Sekai separated the high-class shirt and prepared to put it on when there was another knock at the door.

"Come in!" She beckoned, believing it to be the child again. She didn't realize it was Waffles until she heard him hit the floor.

* * *

"… And that's exactly what happened," finished Sekai. "So, again I'm sorry Waffles. When I invited you in I thought you were Priscilla."

"It's alright," he smiled as he reflected on her story, his nosebleed long since dried up. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that this mornin'."

"It wasn't too big of a deal. I think Rango'll be more traumatized about it than I will. Still, let's not speak of it ever again."

"Amen, to that," grumpily added Elgin.

Waffles nodded, "Okay, but it sounds like yer gonna need a new hat though."

"Yeah," agreed the fennec as she patted her bare head. "I'll hafta steal one from somewhere."

The horned toad removed his hat and extended it to her, "You loaned me your jacket. I'd be honored if you'd wear my hat."

"Thank you, kid! I'd be honored to wear your hat. Now … I have to go prepare for Jake...," said the mayor as she placed his hat on her head and departed Doc's clinic.

"W-wait up, Mayor!" Said Waffles, scurrying after her. Suddenly, he came running back in. He walked up to Elgin and punched him as hard as he could in his arm.

"Dagnabit! What'd the hell you do that fer, ya fool? !" Cursed the bar cat.

Waffles glared back at him seriously upset, "That's fer not wakin' me up earlier…"

* * *

**For those of you unfamiliar with anime or manga, the nosebleed is a comedic expression used to portray extreme excitement. It's usually used when a character is seeing/reacting to something they have little experience in actually dealing with (such as a naked girl). Hope this explanation makes this chapter more enjoyable. Thanks for reading. **


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